A short story of Cobra and Best ASS

DS doesn't know that how in past huge Mammoths were hunted down by human with almost no weapons. However, DS knows for sure that how Cobra hunts!

It holds the ability to inject deadly venom.

DS, once, came across a method  dirtiest Cobra presently known exercised. Cobra preferred to conserve  its venom and utilized corporate FART. Different species of Cobra go through different life cycle and some of them are smaller than others and are wary of them. In this particular case Cobra smaller than target, somehow remained hidden. It utilized Gas produced by bigger kind and let it attack ASS. Under assault ASS was told that GAS was captured by DS and unleashed on ASS.

ASS had all reasons to choke DS.  Moreover, all senior ASS in organization gave DS a smell of their very owned FARTS. It was like HELL on EARTH and life threatening experience.

When DS, went and asked Cobra that why would it unleash someone's else GAS and blame it on DS ? Cobra replied that it was all ASS doing. ASS has gone mad and is FARTing everywhere. Its getting stinky here said Cobra after flashing its forked tounge and left!

One day ASS asked DS that DS is neither a snake charmer nor fan of Cobras. Then why is DS assisting Cobra ? ... DS simply answered that in days of Globalization, DS doesn't want to sounds bad towards Animal and just to avoid agitation of PETA, has to honor Cobra's call.

God knows what ASS went and told Cobra !Cobra, no longer troubles DS visibly  but  is back to its stealthy ways of hunting. ASS refuses to understand the risk as it lacks Vision. ASS continues to think that Cobra is a quite species now as its FANGS were chipped off when GAS and FART scandal happened.


Only DS knows the fact. A Snake in its life time develops the FANGS many a time and sheds them off. STUPID ASS remains under threat. Let some visionary leader come and save it.

Yard Stick ..

Hissing with anger, DS for a second, has no time to think anything. An unthinkable had happened. Someone who should have been fired as per the report from insider has gone to moon! This someone who till yesterday had absolutely no idea that where and how to even burp leave aside the FARTS, has been chosen to lead all the best and not so worst FARTS.

DS has all reasons to get annoyed with ASSes as they for whole year kept breying दो दो as productivity for each week. This calculation according to micro managing ASS should have produced at least 106 detailed Master pieces. On one particular occasion, BREYING ASS reminded DS that DS had a reduced productivity of just 0.3 Master Pieces as there was an official shutdown of 2 weeks. Joker ASS just meant to FART and BREY and never bothered for fundamentals.

Same ASS has the moral ethics to nominate a wonderer as Leader of the ASS clan that too when Burping leader has less than 10 master pieces to his credit in one and half a year. God knows what happens next. DS is one angry DUMB ASS for the time being.

FRAUD !!

Year 2009 was a year of happenings.  World didn't recover from recession which began in 2008 and continued to slip to abyss. DS, was lucky enough to be associated with a great team, directly handling most of the TRASH and recycling and working on ways to optimize green GAS produces. Somehow this helped DS maintain/retain a Job. Waste management is essential Green and planet friendly.

Till the end of 2009 almost everything appeared fine and then was a disheartening news!!


Some bunch of non productive jokers in attempt to show to world that GAS produce is actually not responsible for GREEN HOUSE EFFECT, more commonly known as the GLOBAL WARMING have hacked into the world's MOST FRAUD topic of the century. THE GLOBAL WARMING.

They have managed to expose to world that data is all bogus and fabricated. All data and research obtained was subject to  top ASSes own PRODUCE and there was, though a warming but in pockets and for a specific purposes.

This research has questioned the need to manage  TRASH which DS team is responsible for.  This also has brought whole new dimension to waste management for GREEN planet and older methods of recycling are no more sought after. Till the authenticity of this hacking report is confirmed, there is a life line.

If investigation proves the exposure and fraud then future no longer hangs in balance for this FART organization.

Clock with each tick reminds the inevitable and peek into uncertainty. However, DS for a change is a happy man for reasons unknown even to himself !!

Inefficient true lies

At certain point of time, DS is made to stand on the cliff and there is just one option. GO.  People on the side of cliff want DS to stay there and understand the importance of his presence and appreciate that all openly. But none of them is willing to do the essential of just walking down and bring him back to safety line!!

DS, standing on the cliff is lost in deep thoughts! .... Isn't this the end story anyway ? Then whats stopping him from Jumping down and do the needful ? One of the thoughts DS gets is that if its wise at this point of time to jump alone or go with everyone ! .. After all, its everyone who is at risk of going down, however in some other way.



Some people had chosen this path by visionary actions and are proud to hold the pinnacle. But DS had never been so visionary and that exactly one of the reasons that standing on the cliff he has to think so hard ! ...

Just a few day ago DS's Boss had told him that foundation and management of this organization is so strong and robust that even the greatest Earth quake can't shake it. But at the same time he has promised DS to provide a Parachute for safety!

Looking at the slings of Parachute DS has no hope that it would solve the problem of this organization. Even if DS jumps down, the structure has to crumble as how much of TRASH can this hold ? How long inhabitants of this structure continue to utilize the FART produce to counter attack gravity ?

There have been umpteen number of promises from the Senior ASS that he would continue to produce more FART to sustain stability. But ASS seems to bring more TRASH incapable of generating their own FART in right direction. Moreover, now there is a problem of varied subtlety ! .. ASS has brought, more ASS, PONNY and MULES and wants to convert them all to HORSES and that too a fine RACING horses! .... Jockeyed  by a slippery and slithery COBRA.

Future of this Organization is already decided by the visionary KING. DS now has to decide his future. His future is not a mere toss of coin of some leaf which can be moved around by FARTs. Only concerns at any point of time is to take the path everyone going to follow and then utilize the Parachute to guarantee his own safety or redeem his self by walking down to cliff and search for a suitable HORIZON.

Buoyancy source !!

In Previous meeting mentioned in Buoyancy post, DS wondered that if Shallow water and Gas of producers were something which gave the senior MAN some buoyancy! Sometimes in corporate there is need to ponder about all wondering! Things never get clear even if FART flight changes.


DS roaming in isle wondering how to pretend to be doing some great work got food for thought. There was magnificent producer cribbing about the Senior MAN(SM). SM had rushed back to the visionary leader (VL) without wasting time and provided the valuable insight into what his team thinks about his philosophy and comfort label.
VL already embarrassed with revelation of all his money distributions to favorite pussies was quick enough to call magnificient producer to explain the origin of paradigm and reason behind discussing $ with SM !


Already under the assault of  other FARTs and now of SM, VL had all the reasons in world to FART louder and clearer. Magnificent producer had no other option than to explore that how to justify the Gas released in meeting.

DS had an open justification to offer. SM in meeting to punch FART deeper had begun with branding this  team TRASH and had exaggerated opinions of his assertion.

Magnificent Producer had released his Gas only to consolidate the assertion and riding boat in same flow at that time. It was a logical decision and SM shouldn't have gone ahead and cribbed about  strengthening  of his  own production and attributing the blame to other contributers.


Magnificent producer by now had enough food for thought!

In the meantime, DS had the Eureka!  .. The source of Buoyancy for SM in shallow pond actually was not the Gas production of team members but  FART production of SM himself who was in rush to fly and report !!

However, whatever be the result of outcome and suggestions.   DS was happy that some work was eventually done. After all leaders have responsibility towards showing the direction for achieving results and this manner of execution appeared satisfactory.

Garbage management !!!

Sitting in a big gathering and getting a first hand experience and feel of global warming affecting planet Earth. DS had no idea that what he was getting into. There was something awaiting to transform the life of each contributing member and change the way world looked at them !

Gathering was called in by the senior most man in the organisation and a lot more was expected. It was something pasted everywhere and each member had to contribute liberally to expand the warmth! Leader of that maginitude deserved a warm ovation. And when leader entered the room the deafenning noise and gush of warmth was breath stopping !! ..

Leader began his inspiration life journey with real life examples. Peach of all was the path to destination where he belongs now!

Leader when began the path, others warned him to not get into that. Others saw only Garbage strewn all over the path but man of potential and amazing vision saw a prize. Leader could sense his energy conversion and its impact on global warming. There was something imminent awaiting to arrive and was  indispensable. This was the life long opportunity. There were many other who could walk on other paths  but then they had disadvantage of problem of plenty. This was something allowing the leader to do things exactly the way he preferred. No one ever has any issue in dealing with trash in junk manner and thats where the opportunity laid.

Everyone wants disposal and management of Garbage and they're willing to do it at any cost! Leader only had to build the army of leaders with different team and pass on the Garbage. The same shit could be rotated in the system for as long as it allowed and in the end when it rotted, the gas produced added to extra energy gain.

Using this energy, today leader is a strong personality and an important man. Future of whole planet depends on what he does and doesn't do.

Today, is the day when leader personally takes pride in thanking each member of the team for the excellant support and adding extra 10 percent of their own productions to improve the process.

Leader signed off with a big loud thud and warm rewards for everyone ! Each member except DS reciprocated in exactly the same manner. This was the moment which everyone awaited! They had the formula to reach the pinnacle and what they learnt was so simple !

Just do the garbage management and when not enough, let it rot ... the gases will do the rest. If still missing, then use the extra 10 % of own production !!

BCMC at Golden SPA palm resort !!

Years ago a famous Doctor of psychology signed up to provide some behavioral training to DS and couple of other folks. An expensive training at a fairly reasonable place!! A dream come true, till DS went in for the training.


Worst part about all these Behavioral and Self help training is the self explanations of that I was like this and I was like that ... and blah blah and blah ...  And with all these I could transform myself as a new person and being able to fool around fools like you.

Man explained hell lots of things about the behavioral sciences and that how they help and how he was a doctor of all this.
DS lost interest in all Blah Blah .. and Doctor didn't like it !! He pestered DS to participate and ask questions. Then DS asked question.

Research suggests that Psychology is something people are gifted with. There is nothing like learning it through books and degrees. Whats your opinion about it, Doctor ??

Doctor was very kind to demonstrate the behavioral science which needs correction and he was there to help! ....

In the end at night there was another Specimen practicing behavioral science and eating dinner with great Doc and asked a question. Doc said that if he answers that then he would start calling him BCMC!!

Not understanding that, Specimen walked up to DS table and asked whats BCMC as suggested by Doc ?

बहिन C मादर C. Told DS.


Next moment, Specimen was holding DS's neck and searching for all the stones and sticks and iron rods around to thrash. Surprised DS asked why ?

How dare you abuse me ? Asked specimen.

Unbelievably  true shit ! .. Thought DS for a minute. Some other folks at table in the meantime got the Specimen away and explained to him that what had happened !

Doc was enjoying his Booze at the other table.  Looking at DS in a way as if asking question that you know now that who is the बाप of psychology ?

Top performer ???

Being in corporate for long and not being able to do justice to his corporate talent, DS is very disappointed!!  Even after eating the same crap food in Cafe and drinking all lousy free corporate beverages, DS is not able to let the FART flow freely !!  Occasionally there has been a glimpse of promise though but Corporate is result oriented.

One fine day, DS found one of best FART producer in parking lot and inquisitively asked the honest question that how come FARTing machine was leaving the corporate premises too early that day ? .... How would his FARTs resonate and remind of his great presence and contribution to top ASS now ?

Well, clarified FART ing machine to DS. Buddy, please don't take me wrong. My excessive FART generation is not because that I want to put less talented people like you in turmoil. I'm just trying to save my ASS!

Wondered DS how ?

And then FART machine clarified that his ASS has liquidation issue and so consistent FART generation keeps the ASS rust free and intact !!

This eventually saves it from getting kicked out !! .....

Eureka !! .. Said DS. He learnt today that most of the corporate men working hard by generating FARTS in official premises are actually saving their ASS as it lacks some or another capabilities !!

Losers I will make you winners !

One of the greatest trainings DS ever attended offered too much to digest. Top losers participating instantly showed progress.  DS too showcased some quick hints and asked the instructor for an inhaling filter.

Training was an amazing piece of shit presented in gold plated virtues and beautifully  hard bound book. The whole concept revolved around a paradigm. Interesting part of flow of this information was to offer ideas on how to understand different paradigms in view of just one paradigm which book preached and the instructor learnt from his instructor!

Best part of training was the introduction and expectations people had from the training. To begin with,  instructor introduced himself as being the ex CEO of an XYZ company only he knew about! before taking up this profession, which brought private excellence to him.

Another person introduced himself as a "nice" person and recently married. He is very productive in his corporate life and wants to be equally productive as a husband too!  Man ! .. Give it a break, thought DS for a second.

One more person who too was just married was very happy about the new relationship and was aggressively hoping to complete first year anniversary!

One lady wanted to be a Darling of everyone ! .. And then she corrected herself, no only of parents and  in laws ! .. Poor husband, DS felt pity for him !! Instructor appeared disappointed too !!

One person introduced himself as being the biggest loser ever known and explained how a previous training on time management using outlook transformed his life ! .... He could register 3 hours daily for shitting to handle his constipation. Outlook allowed him to coincide this with his lunch. The best victory he managed with that was THE additional push.

DS, introduced himself as being glad to proxy someone! ... Expectations from this meeting is to have some case studies later.

After all those intorductions, there was nothing winning instructor could do to make him biggest loser from Loser.

Foundation

A team in a corporate is handled by a great visionary. This visionary is like a US president in all action flicks where Uncle Sam wants to set example himself by putting himself before everyone else in danger line. The bold provision gives great sense of pride to Americans. But in real life, Uncle Sam hides in Toilet or schools chanting Nursery rhymes if not attending to shoe missile.

This visionary is a great crusader for all the working community and regards each technical working ASS above the overhead ASS. At least in open forums! However at the same time this man finds it hard to explain that what keeps all the Overhead sitting pretty for years and pushing each working ASS outside ?

If there could be a real regard for the working communities and respect and right set of incentives offered then why would that situation arise at first place ? ... Well, visionary is open to debate and can challenge anyone in the gathering of 400+ Dumbo !  Each working ASS moved out as they didn't get what they seeked. However if they had stayed and waited for just six more months than things would have been different.


Great visionary ! .. How many stayed behind for this six months ? .... Just 1 in 10 years ? ... And how many overheads ? ... 30 out of 30. Does it still speak any statistical modeling which visionary probably would refuse to visualize always ?

Well, it still remains to be seen if his Vision gets blinded by total FARTS flying around or they would ever get focused, channelized and energy spent would be used to streamline movement of some cases which deserve.  Till then let Visionary maintain ...

Overhead ASS! I can get walking on the road, but foundation member like working ASS is difficult to find. This is important and I will do everything to keep working ASS happy. Albeit Only after all 30 overheads  have been taken care off in the background.

Man in Coat

In 7 Habits training, there was a task to be completed ! . Identify, whats the issue with  first quadrant. And in case if that offers any advantage ... what would that be ?

Instructor formed teams exactly the way any smartly trained dumb ASS does ! ...

Count up to four and then recycle ! .. whoever brayed whichever number, belongs to that team. A well trained and  smart ASS always wants to give some braying pleasure to each attending Dumb Ass !!

DS for a change was in the company of a great gentle man in the team of four Dumbo! Which of course included DS and a small baby girl and a small baby boy learning the nursery rhymes.

This great gentle man wore more cloths on Body than  hair on head. Flashed big budging tummy and sagging ASS. In shot appeared like a perfect example of great Gas chamber housed in a stable corporate! ...

As expected, even before all could  even gather, he began the supply management ! ... Free flow of farts choked  Poor babies ! But than something happened ! .. DS spoke. Having been in the company of such FARTS, DS by now has learnt to hold his breath and talk. Advantage this offers is the shocking factor, Gas chamber goes through which stalls production for certain moments and generously offer a few precious cycle to steal a breath!

Man felt  that Gas spent had been wasted ! Pity that energy loss contributed to green house effect and didn't even move the Quadrant vehicle. Babies heard DS's  rhymes and were doing chorus!

At that moment, instructor declared timeout!

Now each team had to represent one leader and discuss all points ! ...

For DS's team, even before team could decide, Man in coat said : ... Babies will represent the team !!

Hmm .. That was the last FART ! ... Coat clad man  could offer ! ...... Thought DS. And where would that energy come from ? ............. May be, through the coat, As black bodies absorb more energy and radiate FART it later !!! ........ Man hid more in Coat than revealed on his head where the missing crop signaled barren foundation.

Buyoncy !!

A senior BOSS in team arrived and a bunch of fart producers were made to meet this person to give a feeling about corporate. Well, lots of things got discussed and Senior person then opened court for suggestions ! Ball was in Producers court to decide that what needs to be done !!

First thing first ! ... The Best FART producer with impacting voice inquired, why we have less budget for promotions whereas other teams have more ?

Who said that ? asked Senior Boss.

And then he looked at local Boss sitting there and quizzed, what happened to budget of XYZ amount you been getting each quarter ? Did you guys just happen to distribute that among yourself ?


Well! ... It was worth looking at local Boss!

In the end, best FART asked again, whats senior BOSS's take away about this team from this meeting ?

Hmm .. Began Senior man with his usual Bull Shit, There is a lots of energy in this system .... moreover I see a lots of depth as well.

Wondered DS at that moment ! Is this man trying to swim around in shallow water and feels depth as he is getting pushed up ?

........ Boy ! ...

What else can one expect if so many FART producers sit down and offer Gas as a weapon of Mass buoyancy force ?

Parallel economy !!

When DS switched team, he came to a great new Place. This team handled great challenging issues and was among the very few productive teams. Performance numbers gave DS a chilling feeling rushing to the bums from Spine !! No, its not a FART ! .. That would be warm and relaxing !

Nonetheless, just to be a member of great team is an honor and DS just believed in taking pride in that apart from looking forward to learn!

After a while DS is very appreciative of this team's hard work and dedication and commitment to do problem fixing consistently for so long ! Over the years, this team discovered that handling economy is not an easy task, however if there can be another one running parallel to it and just delayed by 5 minutes or an hour or even a decade then it can be manipulated excellently! And thats where team focused all their energy !! ... ASSes got numbers and quality matrices beamed with 36-26-36.

For the less mortals it was like keeping an ASS for display and many more when arrive to accompany  it,  then were routed to other STATES in country as ASS already existed. Performance matrices kept record that just one ASS brayed !! So great parameter about whole logic was to not worry about working on problem to fix it. Rather finding the solution to fix the problem.

Today DS is a learned and highly performing individual. The greatest achievement/learning DS has  is the increased ability to do Google Search !!!

Thanks !!

There was an interrupt service routine invoked in DS life when he was enjoying life in fast lane in fourth quadrant of 7 habits of effective people. Of course officially !!

A gathering of all gentleman and not so gentleman apart from Ladies was called. A very senior person was at his best with great speeches and Roads and Maps !! There was supposed to be a Q&A session after presentation.

Well, time came and people asked questions !! .. One gentleman was very nice he asked question :

Thanks first for taking time out to present wonderful ideology on this subject. Thanks again for great execution and exemplary focus of energy to align all channels together ... and thanks again for ..... blah blah ... thanks .. blah blah ...

And at that point of time, Senior presentator said ...


And thanks for Sucking up.

Shocked man uttered ... ... Thanks.

DS, thought for a minute !! .. Jai Ho.

Weighing Machine !!

A great companion of DS at some point of time lost so much of weight that DS had to worry about holding his hand while walking lest there was a risk of wind blowing him away along !!

He mentioned to this companion, Man you loosing lots of weight ! Whats going on ?

Companion replied. Yes, you're right ! I've been losing lots of weight ! .. I enjoy having fun by hanging on the stick in Boss's office and previously that  didn't move et all. However, when this time I latched on it with my weight .......... It went UP !!!

Hmm ...  Yard stick differs from person to person ! Thought DS for minute before deciding to keep mouth shut !

Funny english !!

DS was lucky enough to be appointed for a training which suited  the upper echelon guys! It talked about how to be effective and that too by adopting Seven ways !!

Training beautifully explained that how work is divided in different phases in quadrants. DS was happy to learn that eventually he could officially support some time in Quadrant 4.

However impressive point about whole training was understanding the paradigm! And explain it too. Instructor referred to a particular paragraph which reads as following

A collegue of yours takes afternoon off and asks you to attend the meeting at his/her place.

And then asked DS, Would it be Withdrawing, neutral or deposit ?

Puzzled DS asked a question ! .. What're the circumstances and whats the  He -- He, He- She or She - She link here ?

Well, seems that was shocking for the Instructor who asked why would that even matter here ?

Hmm ... Different cultures have different meaning for the given situation and sentences So without knowing how can one reply ?

Instructor laughed for a minute on dumb DS  and so did everyone else. Within a minute it was clear to DS that what man meant was following :

A collegue of yours takes afternoon off and asks you to attend the meeting at his/her behalf.

Nonetheless, Instructor did explain the paradigm part and other habit which says Understand first than be understood !

Dream Job !!

Recently DS heard a nice conversation. A senior person went and asked his superior Boss that what prompted them to promote other guy as manager and disregard him ?

Boss spoke, well there are certain parameters which went in his favor !!

Disgruntled person said, it was his dream job and he is utterly disappointed by the callous attitude towards him and want explanations in detail.

Hmm .. Suggested Boss, that there are few reasons :

1.  Day dreaming is dangerous propositions and so encouragement for such habits is not a wise idea.
2. If you been dreaming about this a whole while than you're not working and were sleeping in office hours ! You violated the company policy and are not a good role model !! 
3. Moreover, we waited too long for you to wake up and get promoted. Eventually we promoted other guy as he was awake and not dreaming anything.

Any more Dreams questions ? Farted Asked BOSS.

After hearing all this, thought DS for a minute ! Its not necessary for a Boss for to be an ASS ! .. however, every ASS is a Boss !!

Me, Me and Me

Recently DS went to a public function where many dignitaries were present. One of them had a nice and cute looking baby as well. One gentleman in particular was pretty impressive and  DS felt compelled to listen to this magnificent orator. But within a matter of minutes it was obvious that man was explaining about anything and everything with a catch that he happened to be the central character for everything and savior as well.

In short, it was a nice lecture on Me ..Me ... and Me ...

Suddenly the attention of everyone was drawn by a loud sound ! .... Seems, Baby had farted.

Orator gentleman suddenly became nervous. DS wondered why !! Till he looked at the baby face. Baby was nicely smiling. Conveyed message sounded more like ....Buddy you got competition !!

Gentleman was justified to feel nervous.

Collaboration

DS after changing sides was pretty careful of moves. The first thing for survival in a battlefield is to learn the tricks and moves of Enemies and same principle works for friends till one figures out that person in center  is a friend in deed.
Best thing about corporate battlefield is that its not a rocket science and no big spy game required to figure out the elements which can reveal the details of battle plan. The worst part though is that sometimes, even they won't/don't know that if target is going to be exactly the place where they re-cycle gas production. Data though may exist but veracity is always questionable. Its not a trivial task to figure out that which side of axis, DATA leads to. Total randomness of direction makes data open to anyone's guess !!

Anyway, an element who provided lots of details and was very appreciative of the Colonel of the team and was getting most of the data from a Major. Major was famous for bombarding all data everywhere and specifically through the gun made of this elements mouth piece. Flow of informations always coincided with flow of farts around and in choking environment data made lots of sense. There was no need to fire. Same triggered worked great !!

One day element decided to bid good bye. Major was loosing an essential element of battle field and was pretty nervous to loose him however his flows of farts compensated the bombardment and was still cautiously comfortable about it.


When element eventually left and joined hands with other battalion, not of the enemies to note.  He came right in the line of upgrade and seeing the efficiency of utilizing his mouth  an  excellent opportunity  awaited new Major. New Major decided to upgrade the element but contracts of elements science required that pre approval should be taken from the previous users of elements.

Element, being the best mouth for firing in previous team never knew that playing with fire doesn't come without burning the surface directly involved. All the triggers [Asses for FARTS] of Bosses and his barrel were eventually fuming fire.

It was pretty logical for previous colonel and Major to proclaim to the world that Barrel lacked sheen and was disposed off as the spent crap! Colonel even went on to say that he is disappointed to learn that this shitty barrel crap is the best element new Major has got and he really needs to evaluate the friendly status as it can provide no secure feeling to his team.

Barrel lost the upgrade and Major the sheen. New Major waited for some time till protocol offered opportunity to upgrade barrel without the feedback from previous users. Collaboration was eventually over and battlefield won and lost !!

Human Relations (HR)

At some point of time when Blue moon didn't shine for long, the Boss, DS worked with came out with one such proposition. A blue moon one !! .. Not expecting that, DS's all bulbs which were already fused went in for a toss !

How could there be a solar eclipse when there is no moon in between ? Not even the blue moon ! It illogical. SO DS decided to look for help.


Folks who appear to know nature's laws and are supreme judges of natural injustice.

Well, a meeting was called in with DS, Judge and Boss. A device on Judge back resembling one on cows on cow farms is something puzzled DS to start with.




Well, DS had long list of parameters explaining the positioning of  Moon, Sun and Earth. Even stats from NASA to prove that neither a satellite or asteroid came in between to have caused appearance of blue moon.


Boss came up with all stats that how blue moon caused eclipse.






Judges after  so called neutral hearing came back with verdict.

There is a strong possibility of Blue moon having caused eclipse. However, we do not have any data at this point of time to prove and so DS gets to live for a day with benefit of doubt!

Not understanding verdict! DS, asked for a clarification. Why benefit of doubt to me! Don't I have data to prove ? Well, then,  let me rephrase  .. assured Judge and said both parties get benefit of doubt and DS gets to live to die another day !!


Why would Judge not look at data and pass verdict based on something which doesn't even exist ? Pondered DS and then a loud noise came with a filthy stench. There was no need to guess! Only thing left to speculate was another sound which went in there post fart. Seemed like some suction.


Nonetheless, after meeting when DS decided to go back to home, DS saw judge driving a green car ! ...Damn. Car runs on Gas ? Hmm ... device collected gas in meeting and Judge is running his car with improved  boost from his own gas!! ......

Data which Judge looked at pre delivering verdict was just the FART ? ... A Natural justice ? To keep nature survive. An interdependent chain of event where data DS collected didn't event figure in. It was pretty easy in the end to conclude that Human relations are no more than FART processing methods. Only thing which builds relation there is the food which produces fart and HR can latch onto it to run their operations.

Open Communication

Corporate DS works for is a great institution. It has lots of ethical policies to advent employee.

Greatest of them all is the open communication. Any mode of medium and any  intensity welcomed !!

The best of this  policies is that it never confines communication to any two points and is really open.

Anyone can say anything at any point of time and of course hear the same thing back. Though at a different frequency and with a little lag ;)  Best of the communication is the ability to save employees from CVS (Computer Vision Syndrome) by keeping away from all PC tension.




Though, there is another way as well to keep away  from PCs. But thats best provided by the upper echelon folks . And of course comes with a cost !!

However, in short most of the events suggest that Open communication is like an exposed HOLE, left out for employees to spot.

And once employees fail to spot HOLE or get trapped. Corporate takes shots and openly communicates that we have identified Ass in Hole.

Well, DS inclines to agree with corporate that feature indeed is for Ass Hole Identifications. But from the other side of the line though.

Award !!

In previous team DS worked, once there was an award created and given to a team member.

Well, Awards are appreciated but then how to chose and who is choosing are also the important parameters of award distribution.

Members of team  had couple of obvious concerns and questions.

Questions like, when they stood in  queue for award working hard on their stuffs !

Exactly what went in favour of recipient ?

Hmm ... Popular answer is,  Recipient was more deserving !! When everybody worked hard and sincerely for project awarded to them. Not even a single member except recipient knew how to stand out from the rest !!

Just one member chose to stand right out of Boss's Door showing work of ASS ART.

Who can now deny that real contender to Award was just one ?    After all award was for an Outstanding employee. And boss rightly chose the ASS employee standing OUT.

Prime Ass

Once DS met his Boss for a casual discussion. A new hire didn't have any workstation and DS asked, how about meaningfully using the one Boss dumped in his stable ?


Startled Ass Boss, .... Hmm .. Yes, you could use that for a few days !! Just that my program running on that would have to wait for that many number of days!!

Seems Ass was trying to calculate the Greatest Prime number ever seen by  Asskind mankind.




Awesome !! ... Stumped and  inquisitive DS asked,  what about  program ? Did you write it ?

Of course !! ... And you know ! ... Its running on millions of other smart Ass's workstations as well. Program is smart enough to find all 99 % CPU  available and run on them !! whoa ! Why 99% alone ? asked DS !

Hmm, ... 1 % goes waste on all CPUs as Smart Ass operate them.
DS: How is master CPU chosen and which one is that ? ...
ASS Boss : Er ... thats mine, as its 100 % available !!
DS: ... Makes sense !! ... 1% CPU usage for Smart Ass is certainly saved by ensuring that Dumb Ass has kept it powered off !!

And then next simple question ! .. Whats the Data size of your program and how does algorithm work ? After all when greatest prime number reaches, there would be no RAM possible to hold it in todays workstations !!
Well, with a loud blast explained Ass, this is the algorithm ..




Wacko !! Who can deny that its not gonna work ? Would there be any one standing on his feet? Of course other than the Dumb Ass Boss  to dispute, at first place ?