Honest Question !!!

When DS was in 10th std he had a very good Mathematics teacher who taught well and fast. The first six chapters were covered like anything and DS apparently understood them all. After a while, whole class was broken into different batches and distributed to other sections where DS happened to find another Mathematics teacher who was till struggling with second chapter.

This Guru was amazing piece of shit with his methodology. He would write a question on board and start asking questions. Till he gets the right answer he would keep asking the question and keep drubbing poor kid. For a whole long time DS was the saviour. The questioning would end at DS and rest of the kids would be spared. After a while Guru Ji stopped asking DS and things went fine. Chapters were covered and then Guru Ji came to eighth chapter which DS didn't know that how to do. Once day Guru Ji happened to ask DS and was so happy to note that answer was missing. He massaged his arms as his mouth was watering with the prospect of exercising his power over the only remaining kid in group.


But before he could do anything, he was shocked when DS asked him a question. Guru Ji .. Have you taught this before ? Guru Ji said  .. No. Asked DS, then why are you asking me to tell you that how to solve this problem .. isn't that you who is supposed to do that ?

Guru Ji was taken back. At last some one asked the question he dreaded. And then Guru Ji began explaining that how to solve the problem and got stuck in explanations ........something which he hadn't done before.

DS asked many questions and Guru Ji got fully irritated ...

Finally very angrily Guru Ji asked DS, tell me what you have not understood ?

Asked DS : Sir Ji, I have not understood that if you have understood the problem !!!

And just then ..Bell Rang !! The bell probably saved the rewards this honest question deserved apart from the shocks man received at DS's hands.

Height of incompetency !!!

When DS was in 12th standard, there was a new Chemistry teacher who came for teaching nearly almost when academic year was towards the fag end. The very first question "Guru Ji" asked was that how many of great students have already finished the course ? ... Not even a single hand and then Guru Ji revised his question that okay .. how many of us have done it half. Same sad story !!! ... Guru Ji was disappointed but then assured that will start tomorrow ... let we all come back after reading so it becomes a discussion than a teaching.

Next day!!! .. Guru Ji began and discovered in a short time that there is no point in wasting time going about teaching and declared that lets divide the work in following two parts

1. You go ahead and study all the chapters and consult me as per se 
2. I teach you all the practicals and prepare for 25 marks

A proposition no one could deny! As that meant that towards the fag end of year there was no need to go for classes like the beginning of year.

A few weeks passed and Guru Ji called for a special class. He requested everyone to ask him a few questions once in a while before he forgets everything and becomes Junk. Everyone looked around and behaved as if nothing was heard.

One fine day ... Guru Ji told the whole class while lecturing for practical exams that sometimes invigilator asks in the practicals that if you had heated the sample ? .. In case you forget that .. you could easily say that "Sir Ji... we did it in Summer ... it was hot ..we didn't need to heat it". And after that look at me and I will take care of that.

Poor DS, it happened with him in his exam and when he repeated the same answer which Guru Ji had suggested. Invigilator laughed it off .... बेटा 100 degree Celsius is what it needs to do something.

DS looked at the Guru Ji who was somehow trying his best to hide himself in two feet wide chair. 

Worst !! .. DS learnt later that all the exams and questioning was Farce. Whoever gave 300/- bucks got 25 marks and those who gave 200/- got 24. Remaining were all राम भरोसे !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A different message !!

Recently Bunny was part of a presentation where a senior person spoke in depth about the seamless mobility. The picture gentleman had for depicting was something like following :

The moment picture came on the screen, Bunny began laughing and so did the others. Whereas Gentleman meant that two circles when overlap then any roaming element could seamlessly connect to other and disconnect from previous network. The happiness is what third circle right between the two depicted by adding a smiley there.

Bunny took this to extreme sports. Right after the meeting it was found that someone asked Bunny a question privately! .. Bunny responded with following :

Please make this a habit to include everyone and stop bugging me directly! .. You know I'm not available for seem less connectivity and he included above picture in the message !!!

The other side

A Rat grows faster whereas an elephant grows slower. However a rat lives for a year but elephant goes on to score hundred. In a lab scientists with vested interests study the mice and not elephant as the complete life cycle is available at a short span which offers plenty of opportunity to scientists at a fairly low costs.

Its fair and well understood on part of scientist to praise Rats for  being the perfect model.  If Rat could understand the language then perhaps the meaning would all together be in a different dimensions.

DS, observed one similar case where Rat understood the praising words but not the meaning. Rat began believing that it was superior than the rest and challenging all other creatures or undermining them became norm.

There is a famous saying that "Dogs keep barking but elephants just move on". They offer no threat to them and so elephants reluctance to respond to barks is natural. However, if Rat were to squeak and bigger animals continued to refuse to respond, then it can certainly annoy a new supreme creature!

Rat went back to scientist and complained that all other creatures should respect his supremacy !! But how is that even possible for a scientist to explain the meaning. Its well known in engineering that if receiver is kept too close to transmitter than source just keeps transmitting and corrupts the incoming frame. Rat is no different and in absence of anything to transmit it received certain pulses and decoded the meaning with whatever intelligence it had. Now that it understood something and began using the antenna for transmitting, there is no going back and that complicates any inflow of  knowledge.

Anything which this Rat can perceive now is gong to take a whole lot of time. An artificial  problem created just because of ignorance of Scientist to make statements without understanding the complication in advance.

Sparks !!

Bunny and bunny designer was talking to DS. He explained the switch and called it a relay. DS had an obvious question whats the Relay ? ... Bunny of course had answer ready that its the switch. Though DS remembered that relay was a sort of 220 volts switch but switch can be of any voltage. Bunny agreed. The diagram was following :

DS, asked if the lever on bunny's switch is small or big ! Bunny said its big. Good Size does matter, replied DS.  Bunny complemented it further that bigger it is cleaner it is.

Asked DS, after the use as well ? ... Yes, replied Bunny. DS: Hmm ... are you sure of the Carbon deposits on big lever after the use ? .... Why would that be ? asked Bunny.  DS: wouldn't a voltage difference cause the sparks when your big lever meets the pit ? Bunny : Why would there be spark ?

DS: There is always the spark!
Bunny: I don't know ... but why ?
DS: Because there is a potential difference here ... so when big lever meets the pit ... there is a spark!!
Bunny: Oh ya ... you're right ..
DS: So you sure now that after the use the big lever will not be clean .. it will be dirty ?

Bunny : Yes, I understood this well ...
DS : What did you understand ?

Bunny : That with the spark, there will be carbon deposit and hence the lever will be dirty.
DS: You didn't understand a thing ;)

Everyone around burst out in laughter, DS din't know that if that was because they understood the joke or realized that there was one !!!

Physics teacher

Back in school when DS was in 11th standard he took the science subject and then very first day before attending the classes heard from the seniors in the class who couldn't make to the next level last time, a unique name "Chutiam Sulphate". They refused to divulge the meaning or source.

Bell began and then enter a unique character inside the class room. Man oozed of disgust for everyone and was very thoughtful. He began with a thud as his arse settled down and pointed that in todays time anyone and everyone takes science. साला no one tries to understand that if he takes other streams then may do better.

Then he pointed at one person in the crowd and said ... अगर ये साला आर्ट ले ले तो 100 percent चल जायेगा | इधर तो साला fail हो जायेगा | DS realized that his finger pointed to him. Kind and very nice words to begin with.

And then another piece of advice from the great mind ... Bloody all the Science students are dumb!! .. But poor chaps got no option. If a teacher from the Arts streams says anything to the Students then a few of them beat him up. But do that to a Science teacher .. and thats it .... he gets failed in practical ... An obvious warning. He complemented that further. Also if a Science teacher asks for tuition then Students have no option .. they have to take it... otherwise ?  Damn bloody guy fails in practical exams.

And then man began with an assignment and made one guy the monitor. The he taught the lesson and asked everyone to ask questions. When no one asked ... he looked at the monitor and asked him to ask one!!

And then monitor asked one .... and then came the question from great man ..

क्यों बे Chutiam Sulphate तेरे बाप की salary लेता हूँ क्या साले ? चल बैठ जा वहां जाके |

In the end,  DS had at least one clarification.

Antenna ..discovers Logo's origin

Man with lots of attention was curious to listen to friends advices. Friends advised to find a decent partner for him which he was shy enough to put down. The whole burden of loading him with partner's burden now lied on the shoulders of friends.

One day in a meeting came the opportunity knocking on the door of meeting room. Great thing about lady luck smiling usually is that it comes with lots of options and here it was .. smiling right outside the meeting room in number of three.

Friends found this an exciting opportunity and sent the  man with lots of attention to offer more attention. Something something happened.

Later, they asked how did it go ?

Man replied ... One was not good. And other one has that !!

What ? .... Asked one and laughed ... no one understood!! Guess, there was just one with crocked mind there.

Asked man, what ?

Replied one by drawing on board that didn't you mean that ?

Whats that ? was the question man asked!

Replied one by drawing another figure that may be he meant something like that :

No one understood, they asked what and then replied one person ...

She has a playboy ;). Everyone burst out laughing ... that explained the origin of logo as well.

But then came the complication in form of Boss who wanted to know the joke. Having seen the person on board making some drawings he wanted that joke !! ... Complex proposition  ? Not et all ...

Replied the one, ... This man was explaining of designing Antennas in college and when asked that if he knew of butterfly Antenna he was negative.  He says that there is nothing like that !!!

Then asked DS, how about the following antenna ?

And then if you're to design something which is mirror image of that then how would it look ?

And if there is a little leakage then how is it going to appear like ?  Man drew the following picture :

What do you think that antenna type is ?

Everyone began laughing but then  Boss, wanted to know the original joke.

DS explained that man was explaining the Antenna design. He designed the following antena :

And then there were some leakage with the design and how it looked like is following :

And since then ... everyone knows him as the designer of Play Boy antenna and logo.

Able Teacher

When DS was a young chap and was studying in 11th standard there was a Chemistry teacher who found DS totally useless and was obviously extremely vocal of issue.

One day Chemistry teacher asked, DS please tell me answer to following question :

In a village lived a very prudent man and then one day all villagers brought one dead man to him and asked to make that dead man, drink a bowl full of oil.

Question is that how can prudent man make that dead man drink that oil ?

DS, replied in short :

Sir, I'm not that dead yet.

Not liking his answer, Sir asked another question. Okay tell me answer to another one.

He started, When he was in college and next day there was an exam he saw in dream the question paper and sequence of questions. Next day when he went to write the exam the whole sequence was exactly the same as seen in the dream.

So whats the Moral of the story ? .. teacher asked.

DS replied. Sir I think you mean to say that we should stop wasting our time on classes and should begin even day dreaming. Question paper anyway will come in dream ;) ...so why struggle so hard ?

The only sentence after that DS heard in that class was ... Get out !!!

Message encoding

DS while taking a walk out was called in for a sudden meeting. Keeping the timing in mind it was something he couldn't refuse to attend. In he went and was there for a surprise.Everything happed was somehow linked to something which happened before and the encoded message was so explicitly open that it probably had no need for encryption. But pity that someone still believed in it and DS had no other option than to buy it.

 Just a day before, involved in a discussion DS opined about something which a senior arse found offending !! not because that it was offending but because whole exercise from his side was to cut DS out and being in the system DS well aware of  knives around had to protect the interests which technically suited more in DS favor. But it actually resulted in  tunring the knife back in the stabber's direction which arse found offending as pricking of it hurt. Prick was certainly offended ;) Worst part, a man with no control cries his heart out and shouts at everyone and blames for his pain. This Prick was no different. But then something unexpected happened. There was a person sitting neutral to observe DS, who happened to observe this prick this time.

DS realized that person immediately received  a call after the discussions for live updates which appeared more like a curious plan. It was really amazing to see the politics at its best in world of folks who can play it as dirty as the shit ball can contribute. Worst for Prick that it went up with all details and realizing the sensitivity of   issues Prick had to safeguard himself. He went out for the dressing and to heal the wound apologized to world for crying his heart out. But this probably which DS doesn't know had some link with live update client linking linking it to master sniffer. Sensing the corruption Sniffer might have looked more in details and found the pattern wrong. Prick might have been called for the clarification and possible cause. Which Prick attributed to DS's AD-HOC way of bringing forward any technologies without keeping the system aware of protocols and in absence of necessary infra the packets resulted in corruption. The whole system crash was attributed to DS. Sniffer than sniffing the problem attempted to talk to DS for defining the protocol.

The advantage, Sniffer had was the improved informations for it to interrpret that and moreover it could cause no derailment of project.

Interesting part now about this is the message encoding which Sniffer coded and sent to DS for interpretation :

Sniffer suggested that DS should only look at the header part of the protocol and not worry about the other parameters bounding. Moreover in each header only the specific parameters should be added and not the ad hoc informations from anywhere. Advantage of that model would be that it won't derail the project.

DS in short concluded the encrypted message so explicitly suggested that some senior crocked arse has gone ahead and complained that DS is bringing out any ad hoc concept and not working on the stuffs he is supposed to do. This is de railing the project and causing damage.

Constraints

Epic goes  its own ways in many a cultures but when Science began first. Churches began leading the theories and assumption. Churches made Earth the center of solar system and everyone had to follow it.

Galileo failed to understand the weather patterns and eclipse phenomenon with Church theory and arrived upon the fundamentals of  Sun being the center of solar system which explained most of things. Kepler redefined the orbit system to explain the remaining puzzle.

Newton redefined Science and then came Einstein and everyone thought that world was bound by the laws of well defined Science. But then came the Sucker and all the laws went for Toss. Sucker (Black Hole) sucked everything in and science couldn't explain couple of things.  And then came the theory of everything. The ultimate theory .....  String Theory .......

Funny, but isn't world moves by the movement of strings ;) .. Whoever has the more strength pulls the strings and world moves that way !!! ........ It took millions of years for science to discover something which lies so obviously everywhere .........What a pity !!

Principle DON

At some point of time Sincere Man (SM) suggested to go one way which DS somehow was not convinced. Poor DS felt that concept should be modeled on something good. SM thought otherwise, his practicality of going ahead with existing mechanism probably has either just the ego or all his sincere efforts to screw up sincerely!

Ash Kar was the Boss and brilliant genius man. He had option of stealing any idea. Chances of picking good one was higher so he was consulted for his invaluable final howling. He went with DS idea.

DS, went with implementation of project and then came a stage where a Principle Don began scratching his arse out in public. Principle DON was a big man. He was a fighter. He fought for his own existence along with others when his superiors discovered that whole group pretended to work on something which was worth nothing and they could be easily sent to home for doing same ... meaning Nothing.

Now, why he scratched his arse out in public was because of reason that DS chose to go with model which folks who were behind his arse before designed. Folks had disappeared with time but the beating marks on Principle DON's arse never lost the wound and hearing this he of course recollected the wounds and mind demanded scratch. Bloody thing about scratches is the bad manners that people exhibit  in public and Principle DON having got whipped his arse in full public Galore had no hesitation in scratching it there.

When DON asked why DS went with such a ridiculous idea !! DS had no answer. It was probably no good manner to put forward Ash Kar's arse out for beating. Which actually was  too big. DS was doubtful that if DON would have realized that there was an arse up there for beating or he would have just bothered about the vast Martian landscape. Another thing DS bothered was fainting of DON! .. DON came from US and might not have smelt an arse as stinky as Ash Kar's.  In attempt to do him a good, DS kept quite but offered other reasons.

But DON was no less mortal arse himself. He commanded DS to change the model with immediate effect. But DS didn't believe in re-inventing wheel. DON forced him to spell out the reasons for his incompetency to re-invent wheels. Which DS answered by asking DON that if DON could be sent to stone age somehow and asked to save his arse and at the same time invent wheel then how much time he would take ?

DON, of course didn't believe in exposing his arse at first place. He knew that it was ugly even before the wounds and scratches would have damaged it enough to bring it on par with Ash Kar's though on a smaller landscape.

DON was forced to remind everyone that who was DON here !!! ...Ash Kar quickly put one incompetent arse for interaction with DON.  DS on principle created a management overhead by just being honest quest seeker. Its not an easy protocol to always be principled. There are sometimes DONs who hint that why they're Principle DON.

Daqgger Stabbed who ?

Working on a make or mostly a break project given by Ash Kar, DS had to interact with Bitch. Bitch was pretty famous and close to Dagger. Dagger in last project kept everyone stabbing here and there and Bitch helped in bitching about stabbed ones. It was a perfect recipe for disaster but Ash Kar loved them. The good  part of disaster management is lime light which Ash Kar utilized, all, by soaking his arse.

Bitch was sent to US for project quality improvement. The touchy fact about these Quality improvement folks is that, they spray shit and collect the remaining hard ones. Thats prized possession. They'll keep that to heart and bounce up and down everywhere for everyone to see and realize that what they found. All, just by shit spraying. In turn they're rewarded for enhanced quality control. Makes sense !! .. After all once shit is sprayed, it should stay sprayed and not leave any trace behind. The metrics of quality is accurately quantized and thats where Quality improvement folks enjoy calibrating spray.

Bitch, however this time was shell shocked. Each time, she found the hard shit, it disappeared in air even before she could show it to other shit lovers. The ambiance was clean but that doesn't offer an opportunity for bitching.  As usual Bitch decided to sleep off most of the time.

DS, found that out. It was too obvious!! inspite of having a different time zone and at least one hour matching with his, Bitch should have been spotted!!! ... Worst, he mentioned that to Dagger!!

Dagger, next week landed at the same place as Bitch, in US. First greetings they exchanged.

Bitch : Hi
Dagger : .. Hey, I Heard you enjoying your time ... No bitching around ? DS told me.

Stabbing !!  Quite open to debate that more of it was a backstabbing of DS or the direct stabbing on Bitch.

Secret of Ash Kar's brilliance

Ash Kar is a brilliant man. He gets ideas only man in mental asylum can conjure. Unfortunate part about the ideas from this genre is that usually man laugh it off. But Ash Kar was not an ordinary laughing scoff. He believed in drawing attention and his ideas always put him among the self puzzled great thinkers !!!

It was unusual for anyone to not ponder over him for his ability to perceive things in a open darkness and propose stuffs in broad daylight.

DS, Had exposure to numerous such  ideas whichl kept DS awestruck of Ash Kar's brilliance.

DS once was stuck on a challenging propositions which Sincere Man (SM) kept complicating  more with all his sincere efforts. Logical conclusion was to seek Brilliant Mans help. Ash Kar patiently heard the problem and asked a simple question :

Have you already thought of some logic or you want me to think about that ?

Replied poor DS, that I already have thought of one possible solution but I want to hold it from everyone for the time being and give everyone an oppertunity to think about a new one as DS felt that once someone suggests an idea the rest only continue to think about the improvements to that than an another better idea. DS logic was to encourage everyone and find the best possible solution for the problem and not drive meeting in direction his thought process guided.

Ash Kar curiously asked about the solution and promised that he would think about it.

DS setup a discussion committee for problem solution. And then they all met one day.

Ash kar, even before anyone could open the mouth asked .......Whay don't you think about following approach :

And Ash Kar explained the DS idea to gathering. Everyone was impressed, except one.


Conclusion of meeting was to implement Ash Kar's brilliant Idea.

DS  was sure of secret of Ash Kar's brilliance. Ash Kar  is not a brilliant man rather he is genius.

After all, Talent borrows, genius steals. 

Sincere Man (SM)

DS after moving to Ash Kar was provided significant work ! Rather an opportunity to make or break his career. This involved a lots of knowledge which DS didn't have. Ash Kar found one Sincere Man (SM) for ramping DS up. DS was awestruck with the knowledge SM had. On top of that SM name was echoing everywhere and refused to Die down.

Soon enough it became apparent that SM was a great man. He always knew how to talk and impress everyone about any topic even without knowing  about it ;). And then very soon it became apparent to everyone! DS realized that lots of time was going wasted in attempts of meaningful suggestions. This man talked of SKY when EARTH was under the discussion and EARTH when SKY was discussed. On one occasion DS tried his luck with both SKY and EARTH and this great man then talked about HEAVEN. With all the bad deeds around, DS never had HEAVEN in sighting and that confirmed that now  matter lies with DS alone.  SM had helped enough and there was nothing he could do to send DS to HEAVEN.

Eventually DS stopped taking few cycles away from great man. Work moved in faster lane but then SM went ahead and brought this to everyone notice that DS has stopped honoring the great talent and mentoring hand and anything which may turn out would be disastrous. Worst ! All processes have been violated.

Ash Kar advised DS to not dishonor the great man. DS quickly learnt the mistakes and kick started  meaningful discussions for sake of keeping great man SM honored and process justified.

Moreover none of  eventuality  of discussions could ever turn into causality as :

DS had learnt that "Whatever happens in Las Vegas, remains in Vegas".

Dagger

DS when in interview panel came across a dilemma once when a particular candidate did well but was not good enough for the domain. His argument that he wishes to not say someone bad just because domain mismatches turned good for the candidate and so Dagger entered the team managed by Ash Kar.

After having moved to Ash kar team, one day DS got an emergency call from Ash Kar. Seems world had been turned upside down and problem Dagger faced was so complex that even the great and knowledgeable Ash Kar after repeated attempts failed to resolve. They always managed to crack the breast in discussion but brought a new one.  DS terming this as a bad joke on him eventually suggested something which seems like Ash kar projected to understand better and began explaining. DS though had his own doubts but chose to remain quite as stinky surrounding forced him to breath from mouth. Breathing  is very essential for survival.

Next day, work on explanations of Ash Kar brought three new problems and situation was back to square one. This time Dagger approached DS directly and DS began to invest cycles on that. Dagger explained in detail the problem. In absence of Ash Kar surrounding was breathable and fresh insight offered clarity on problem. DS quickly understood the major defect and offered a simple suggestion!

Next day, Ash kar informed all the concerned parties that his suggestions finally has helped resolved the problem. Dagger's partner came and explained to DS the approach they're going to take!!

Dagger became a persistent quest seeker and over the time their developed the talking link with DS who unaware of the double edge, Dagger possessed and the ability to back stab was happy to offer his help.

Ash Kar and DS's first 1:1

First time DS met Ash Kar in his cabin and was surprised to know that by farting long loud and clear Ash kar had gone beyond the normal vertical limits. There stood DS down to earth and the man sitting on seventh cloud was still able to make him close his nose with his stinky farts.

Ash kar reminded DS that sometimes he farts quite and feeble and DS should have the ability to harvest on that. If DS lacks the ability then he could make use of certain tools which Ash kar managed to get developed over the years.

Ash Kar also expressed the depth of knowledge which everyone else lacked in his team. In short DS realized that अरे यार was a novice in the game.  This man was so happy to have another बकरा in his team that pleasure was dripping everywhere from his face much like the Hyena's Pees with a difference that it didn't smell that disgusting but sounded funny. May be sitting on seventh cloud, Ash Kar developed the ability to disperse the smell somewhere else.  Ash Kar also suggested DS to not repeat the sinusoidal pattern for his performance which अरे यार provided as a feedback. The biggest complaint अरे यार had was that DS didn't work to his potential, but still was able to match the potential of others by virtually doing nothing. अरे यार couldn't even initiate an action in relative yardstick and was lucky to retaliate by providing this invaluable information to Ash kar.

The notable point of discussion DS had was the elaborate mention of Dagger and her exloits. Dagger was an excellent and efficient tool, unaware of the potential she had. Ash kar had all the plans in the world to help her bring out the best and needed DS help in that.

Movement

DS worked on a project for अरे यार which probably everyone else refused to work. A person from Blue freak's team also worked on the same project. Team was a perfect example that why virtual teams don't work. Hyena was managing from quality improvement side and it was quite natural for him to mark each vertical object with his scent. DS having bitten once was quite shy and other guy inadvertently happened to offer his position for his territory marking.    Disgusting environment remained there but somehow Dog fight eluded everyone.

Then arrived post project analysis and member of Blue freak's team got the whip. Poor man casted his suspicion on anyone and everyone. Mostly on DS as he specialized in being an idiotically frank. Not withstanding the irony, one day eventually poor man asked DS and with discussion it was obvious that how Hyena this time lifted his leg. Smartly not only Hyena peed but also covered the area with filth so stench emanating from his pee remained hidden.

अरे यार's total denial to provide any kind of support was enough to piss of DS who eventually went to New Castle and showed displeasure on being farting on same  diet for so long. There was a change required. New Castle had very few opportunities and  Ash kar was looking for one बकरा. Castle was kind enough to talk to Ash kar in couple of minutes and so to अरे यार. Withing five minutes came Ash kar running to DS with options. DS was livid with them and then later अरे यार came running as well showing his great skills that how well he expertized in farting. 

DS moved to new team within a day !!! A progress, he never imagined in his dream with these set of ridiculous Jokers.

Culture

Being born in India, DS was very proud of being Indian. The culture and rituals this country adores are unmatched anywhere, Thats what DS heard from childhood. India also proposing itself as one of the superpower  and all Indians take pride in that. DS was no different. 

Unfortunately, One day DS got a ticket to US. Right at the immigration desk for very first time DS found two great Indians who for some reason assumed that DS was some criminal and should have been stopped from flying. In lack of any supporting evidence, DS eventually was allowed to go. DS took that as a pride of great security this country boasts off. Things went great !! ... but then DS landed in US. Situation was so different, Suddenly there was lots of space for people to move, support for handicapped people and no stinking corner. Cleanness like DS had never seen before at public place. Crossing the corridor when DS reached immigration office, found himself stunned. There were as many counters there as number of security personal in whole of his country's finest airport. The efficiency and politeness only complemented the cleanness DS observed before. The whole process went like a dream. Existing from Airport, DS was quite puzzled as there're no cabbies trying to pull his luggage or aggressive negotiation and jostling. There was no hint of any of them but yes, some signs pointing to Bus and Taxi. 

DS followed the Taxi signs and was confused that which one to chose. But that was easy, the first one in the queue was ready and second one never pounced on him that why he was taking DS to a place!! ... Coming out of airport, DS realized that Taxi was cruising at 70 mph, a speed seen only in Bollywood movies when either a villain drives crazy or hero when heroin is going to jump over the cliffe !! DS was thrilled, there were so many cars following lane discipline and no one was blocking another one and taking pride in that. There was cars like BMW, Mercedes, Jaguar, Mustang and Audi.  Quering about the price, DS got further shock that a BMW 3 series in US cost what a Toyota Corolla costs in India. But then India is a great country and emerging Superpower.  So considering Car a luxury Item makes full sense.

 

Eventually DS reached the stop and was surprised that when Taxi guy didn't ask for the extra money for luggage and honored the meter.  

Next day, in absence of a car DS decided to take a walk and got confused at one place when he had to cross the road and he suddenly stopped for a car. Car didn't make any attempt to run him over and waited there, It was later learnt that pedestrian  have the right of way in that country and car had to stop. A rule DS found hard to digest as in his country its difficult to cross the road even on pedestrian signal with a traffic cop around busy collecting some pocket money. 

DS somehow found a store to buy stuffs, on the way, not even a single public road was used for doing the bussiness, footpaths were clean and clear. No hawkers on road blocking any of them or any motorists trying to drive on the footpath. Stores provided parking and rules were respected. On buying a .99$ worth of item, DS received a cent back with a bill !! ... something which would never happen in his country. But still DS thought this was foreign, His country still the best. It has the culture and rituals and he is very proud of them. 

Next day, DS found people on road who he didn't know. They all wished DS and seemed so nice and kind. A school Bus then came and stopped on the road and a Red light flashed STOP and traffic stopped on both sides of the road. Something unbelievable !! People who DS met were so nice and never spoke anything sarcastically on personal level. Kids got the best ever treatment and care possible. 

And then one day .......... DS returned to India.

Just out of the airport, the famous sighting of fighting cabbies. 15 kmph speed and locus formation traffic. 20 places road rage and at least 30 times spitting on road by driver. Pothole road, no signs and regards for rules.

At home

Extra for luggage.  Some envious people around who disliked his visit to US and cursed the money he might have made. Cursing aunties for girls having run away from families, drunk people fighting on road,  communal riots and area curfew, no water and electricity. Scams and scams exposure but no action.

Signs were all out and clear. Is this the price we pay for our culture and rituals ? Or is it something we need to be proud off ? Our culture which promotes communal riots , untouchable society, caste system, no respect for physically and mentally challenged fellow human beings. No respect for cleanness and no regards for rules. Considering Women of lowly stature and stealing away their privileges, killing girl child and building no infra for the generations to grow and play and learn. Is it really something to be proud off ?

    

Suggestions !!

Total frankness and cultural transparency which this corporate projected made DS a frank man. A frank Idiot to be precise! The fact that corporate ethics and gold polished brass are not much different. DS refused to understand!

अरे यार under the carpet of ethics tried in vain to rein in DS. DS was offered help to not ask people directly that why go on shitting everywhere. Rather अरे यार suggested to ask that why there was Shit  ? Idea was to not find the source of stink. Poor DS! ...People were always noisy shit generator. They clubbed shit and noise and blamed DS of being rude.

Eventually DS asked अरे यार, this corporate boasts of this culture. Whats wrong in calling a shitty man a shitty man ?

अरे यार, of course took offence! ... After all he didn't want more clarity to his character ... at least !!

One bad day ...someone had a great day and DS was shit sprayed everywhere.  Worst ? They clicked snaps and pasted everywhere. अरे यार was approached and asked. Do I have a right to ask that who is shitting now ? I'm watching said अरे यार. And how does that get me rid of worms, asked DS ? अरे यार, consoled and offered a shower. DS learnt later, Upper arses learnt that as DS's own shit spray cleanup. अरे यार managed to get shit mile even here.  However अरे यार had ensured DS that shit would be taken care of. The source would be clamped harder and intake reduced to avoid excreta. DS, though always found the excreta from same source everywhere which अरे यार never observed. Worst ? He always ate in the same plate.

DS learnt later that many delicacies in certain states of country appear strikingly similar and अरे यार respected and fancied exotic  recipes.  Probably the very reason that why DS even got suggestions to not question the shit.

Funny Man!!

Never seen someone as bewildered as the funny aan loving Guy. As always, there sat a bunch of folks, finding target to pull. The all favorite, opens mouth to offer bait  but he got stiff competition. Comes another man, claiming to be his rival. Both recognize the challenge and each one is forced to strive hard to make fool of himself more than the other one. Never actually ever seen it so fierce before ;) ...

Often interesting deal is the comments from outside than the one made by funny guys. However this concept gets challenged more than often. A rare attempt and aan loving guy is all over everyone. Someone complements it with a phrase .. KLPD.

Everyone laughs except one! ... the aan loving guy. All favorite didn't hear. He asked again. No one asked why he laughed at first place! ... After all everyone knew that, he knew that there was a joke and he was meant to laugh! Anyway ... one courageous soul had managed to blurt out the words once !! ... But all favourite sat  distant and that requires political correctness. To make it correct DS said, he meant to say something which Unites the registration vehicle letters of Kerala and Ponduchery. Everyone laughed including the all favourite man .... excpet aan loving guy! Still bewildered man feels  strange. He is tensed.. not because
he didn't understand !! But because he smells a conspiracy as stinky as his beloved aan (I don't mean truly his)  by everyone around to laugh on something which doesn't sound like a joke and make him look puzzled. But then there is no one to even bother about that fact. Everyone's energy if focused on all favourite guy. A little talk and clouds all clear .. he did get the joke!! .. his laughs were legitimate but disclosure tensed him a bit
 as everyone learned that he laughed for another joke !!! ... Aan loving guy by now was dead sure of conspiracy ...

He asked what was the joke ?

Said DS, the all favorite man laughed for a different joke. Asked Aan loving .. what was that ? ... Said DS, remember the college days, When a bunch of folks would block a PC and stair at screen ? ... Thats what he laughed for. But we didn't mean that joke !!! ...Aan loving guy now not only dead sure but surely confirmed that everyone is targeting him. And then came a punch line from all favorite guy.

You do not know anything ?

Everyone laughed, of course except the Aan loving guy. DS asked All Favourite, why would you say that ? ... He asked whats wrong ? I see he doesn't know even a single thing. Everyone laughed, even Aan loving guy. A confirmation indeed. After all he sounds like an honest man.

Someone felt pitty and eventually explained all the jokes to Aan loving guy and all favorite man. Soon there were laughs all around.Both of them  were laughing triggering another laugh but than all remaining ones laughed then. What a difference different part of world's slangs can make !!

Downing of Blue Freak

New castle arrived with a bang. The blast unsettled each robustly founded power piece in the existing kingdom. Scraps scattering offered Freak a brilliant opportunity to sit on the mound of excess and build an empire. But then it requires an army well aligned which Freak massacred himself a long ago. Frustration was on the rise which quickly led to desperation. In absence of clearing mound of opportunity, came other scrap collectors and began a process of massive clean up. Each scrap removal brought down the elevation of mound which coincided with Freak's position.

New Castle could see clearly that other scavengers adapted better for the sparse opportunity they managed to win And Freak ? He just sat there and moved nothing, eventually there missed a huge contribution in building castle from Freak.

New castle not tolerating the incompetence and reluctance began mission possible which freak helped operate brilliantly. Castle astonished and shocked that what brought an amazing difference to dead army freak lead had an Idea struck like a sun light in dark allay to discover the secret.  Castle decided  to take a walk around and monitor the complete progress. Freak displayed enormous  brilliance in the execution and building foundation science but then catastrophe struck. Castle accidentally  broke a piece and was dumb founded when  broken piece made several appearances. Brilliant Castle quickly grasped the sheer street smartness of Freak and decided to not travel in circle anymore. Freak too quickly realized the expose and sensed the downhill where Castle guided him.

Castle aware of tight constraints allowed new man Sundar Chaliya to watch downhill's progress where  Freak  freaked. Insult imparted was blown all over and freak's realization that everyone else  had full view of  slope he  traveled, kick started

A race with time to find another place to squat before slope runs out of it length.

Freak show

Long ago an interesting character had joined the group along with DS. Character became an integral part of Freak's team. With little assistance from other folks, this character managed to start managing the job freak was supposed to do. Freak had numerous complains against the man but somehow everyone kept praising the man and freak was not paid attention. Man came to limelight when he helped resolved a major issue this organization went through. The echo of sound once created reverberated the entire organization over the years. 

This man traded openly for whole day in office, constructed his house on corporate hours and challenged everyone else and made life miserable for those who attempted to imitate him ... in short .. pretended to work. All at the expense of burning freak's heart. As a matter of concerns, freaks heart alone didn't burn and DS while providing free rides to freak, even smelt smoke and found pillion rider seat warm. A sure sign of Freaks smouldering arse.

Everyone acknowledged freak's concerns, but none could act !! .. its easier to fire a working arse as its always on hot seat than a smart non working cool arse. Man knew of this, and exploited the loophole. He made his arse more cooler and non working.

Came a time one day when some senior and reputed folks arrived in attempt to know of freak's amazing team. The man in charge with lots of weight behind his arse .. really ... asked Freak, that if they have issues for the problems in this area who would be the best person to ask ?

DS noticed a kind of glow never witnessed before in Freak's freakish eyes. The question which sounded so simple to anyone sitting there as ducks was something giving sorts of devilish energy and imagination to freak. After a brief pause, answered freak, You can discuss with RKV.

 RKV looked directly in Man's eyes who appeared heart broken. DS noticed every duck in the team either looked at Man or Freak. Freak, who drenched in the draconian  pleasure had the last laugh which visiting team didn't understand. Freak eventually had his show played out.

Major dent

अरे यार as a responsible arse reminded DS of the roles and responsibilities which DS displayed on and off. It even included poking everyone's nose in public. A rude proposition, bad enough to annoy anyone. But DS was as helpless as other victims. DS looked around and found that New Castle concentrated a lot on one particular baby. DS's responsibility involved making sure that grooming of baby is great. So there was an obvious interest to contribute. But then babies come with a lots of Shit and thats exactly what DS failed to foresee. Grooming the baby, initially is all play with shit and pee and these lead to getting hands dirty.  And unless one knows how to clean hands and keep them that way, the proposition of volunteering is a freak idea. Remind of Freak and here the devil was ... Blue Freak owned the responsibility of managing baby. He had an army of servants to do that. One of them happened to be hired by DS himself as per the lucky interview which this man passed. His name was Vijender Pal Singh (VPS)

DS, soon enough realized that to clean the shit, this team only sprayed water. The shit looked cleanly wiped but hygiene around was dirtier than ever. Moreover with each guy handling it differently the baby was getting all shit splashed, causing more damage. DS decided to contribute to hygiene and began watching strokes to clear the shit.  But these activities don't go unnoticed and Freak realized that his army has more work to do than ever. Topping the fact that an army of obese arses can't march at a pace suited to pass the commando tests, it added more fuel to fire.  DS made all attempts to himself offer the strokes which were required to clearly drain the shit out of baby.

VPS was an active soldier among the army freak built. He fired left and right on all shoulders and attributed all the mis hits to movement of shoulders. On many a occasions when DS brought the hits and mis-hits to his notice, he even went on the complain about the target itself moving. And then everything went loose and this man complained to Freak that DS being accusing him of being an Idiot in official forums. An opportunity Freak waited so desperately that he  instantly brought to the notice of अरे यार and other senior managers. DS was criticized for his team demoralizing spirit and was called for a 1:1 with अरे यार. अरे यार spoke in length for half an hour and scolded DS, reminded him of the shame and management overhead he had to go to safeguard DS. Appeared that world had gone to Dogs and अरे यार was somehow reining them all.

DS, asked an honest and genuine question :

I have never used the word Idiot, I rather prefer calling one Stupid than Idiot though Idiot sound better but I actually never thought of that. Would you mind showing me that official evidence here ?

अरे यार for the first time in whole episode realized the law system works on innocent till proven guilty and not on guilty unless proven otherwise. Sudden awakening of the missing idea to have witnessed the evidence caught अरे यार off guard. And when अरे यार went point blank, DS loosing his patience shouted, Can you show me the evidence ? The polite tone had disappeared.

अरे यार immediately called Blue freak and asked to send the witness. Freak was taken back as well, no one actually bothered to even cross check that if there was an evidence like that!! ... Freak was so mad with happiness that he forgot the basic principle of securing supporting documents before filling petition. And now there was a summon but no documents. Freak asked for the cycles on clock which अरे यार was forced to provide, but then DS sat there bursting all crackers.

अरे यार somehow managed to evade the topic, promising to take Blue freak to task. अरे यार though never did anything to clarify to the upper management as that would violate the "you watch my arse and I watch yours".
The opinion among management remained that DS had caused enough havoc on team and was even further worsened and VPS got another Job and cried his heart out against DS.

The last part was something, took years before DS learnt of the dents his image had suffered. And the causality DS was struck  as selfish अरे यार decided to keep his arse in harmony with others than clarify the matter.

Arey Yaar's first Fart!!!

Before Top boss left, he elevated अरे यार to manager's position. Grabbing an opertunity, अरे यार aligned quickly with New Castle. New Castle was wading ahead rapidly to a new target all together. To expedite covering mileage, Castle looked for boosters and thats where अरे यार jumped in to work.

DS and a Tiger in team, felt that Eco system was already polluted and booster was an overdose and went for the most illogical observation and attempt to thwart the booster. अरे यार saw the hint of attempt to an already lost war. An old saying  अगर घी सीधी ऊँगली से ना निकले तो ऊँगली टेडी करो, is exactly what अरे यार recollected.

There was an initial attempt to make logical sense from अरे यार, but he was dealing with DS and Tiger. DS and Tiger were shut to most important logic of a Chess game which often mandates initial sacrifices to overcome the bigger challenges later. The most important logical error eventually restricting their playing capabilities to take game to end stage and win.  अरे यार was a seasoned player coming from the oblivion. Lacking credibility, अरे यार found himself handicapped in handling the situation. He'd skills and knew sacrificing power pieces in attempt to push game to further stage. Even a minor error in later game offered an opportunity in ever changing landscape.

अरे यार bent his finger a big by arching himself on a chair and lifting his bum up, he revolved the chair and farted big and louder. The stink reminded everyone that who was the Boss. DS and Tiger were left with no option than to inhale the Doze.  Already polluted system was more polluted now, But with that Fart alone अरे यार had taken the major lead ahead, simultaneously pushing DS and Tiger out.

Freak vs DS

Highway project and fast lane movement earned DS certain miles which Blue freak lost as calculation went array. Blue freak's boss was aware of the facts and played fair and square and awarded due credit to DS. When a hollow object is bettered it makes lots of noise. Blue freak was no different. The good part of noise though is the encrypted nature which allows it to remain noise. Freak lacked the ability to decode that part. The first client freak, exposed his noise, which sounded more like an open signal was Ra Ra. Ra Ra was good friend to DS and duly communicated the battering part. Only that it sounded more like a broken car being towed away to finish line and as it does complete the marathon, it gets a free upgrade.

An insult pushed maximum to  unbearable limit. DS immediately went up the ladder and informed Top boss of towing part. Blue freak was recalled, Freak was shocked that, DS who was about to be fired by dragon three years ago managed to get favors over stupid a loyal arse!!! ...  Freak, fresh from the battering made more noise and Ra Ra was the recipient again. The Noise was unbearable and Ra Ra's decibel level ran out. In short, deduced judgment was DS betrayal to have reached upper Boss.  DS never exposed the source but in a unique client and server model if server sees issue than client is obvious. Ra Ra decided to call it a day on DS chapter. For DS, Ra Ra chapter was over and so many others who heard of the narration.

Freak called DS and asked that why stairs climb lead to a steps jump ? In short why DS got his arse kicked ? .... DS was unable to push the truth that men who understand logic do not make widespread logical error. Moreover man exploding with anger sees only enemies and DS had no skills to block his vision or fart cool.

Showdown enough to convince Top boss, that days of Blue freak and DS working together were more or less over and stinky environment required a fresh change.

Interviews !! ..

DS had unique image of conducting tough interviews. In case of any doubt, DS always played a crucial and Key role in helping management with identifying and isolating the talent. DS had his own ways of assessing the candidate. He never believed in the policies of proving that he knew more than the candidate. Approach was always to find that if candidate knows what he/she claims to have worked and if he/she can analyze that what was wrong or great about the project. Needless to say that not too many folks could pass through.

Funny part of interviews is the feedback which is binary yet not in some cases. A particular case when DS compared two candidates to bring out the relativity for management to chose the right one, a senior arse got offended. DS was warned that comparison is not what expected of interviewers. However a week later the same arse asked for comparison of two candidates which bewildered DS. Seems first rejected guy was his relative which he was trying to force and claim the company referral bonus as well at the same time.

Same senior arse again got offended when one day he passed a guy for telephonic interview and then failed him on face to face. DS was second to confirm the obvious. Candidate was quick to create a scene accusing senior arse of insulting by forcing interviews in fields he never worked. An ethical injustice was delivered to him. Poor DS, simply disappeared from the scene before someone fixed his face as the responsible arse.

Taking interview is very stressful and in some cases can get career threating as well. At one point of time in a panel of two DS had a strange extrovert candidate who repeatedly asked for ash kar. Important fact that candidate belonged to the same region as ash kar and kind which ash kar liked. Business as usual   DS went ahead and quickly figured out that it was not to go beyond a level. Candidate eventually got furious and was difficult to dismiss off. The body language of candidate was enough to suggest that if DS had been alone in that interview then certainly he would have been accused of sexual harassment by that candidate. ash kar loved being the ladies man and probably allowed the first round by mere visuals than by any rationals.

One day, two members from the testing side consulted DS and asked for his opinions on joining the coding side. DS was a reputed man for the interviews and they wanted their evaluation which DS was not willing to do. On pretext of lets mock it ....DS was forced ... nonetheless ... DS found that one was good and other was not. When time came and arse asked for the opinions of DS in those two cases. DS recommended one which passed with flying colors and not the other. As expected arse decided to go against DS  and took both.

DS was in for a surprise. The one he recommended failed miserably and one he was reluctant emerged a top performer. All a while DS missed out on a fact that stuffs people do in corporate is not rocket science. They don't need Newtons or Einstein. A mediocre guy access to Google is enough to get the material from place and paste against his name. The arses look up for the material and name. There is  never a research or reason to find the veracity. The congress that man who farts louder and stinkier is the best arse goes amazingly well without analyzing that whose gas he released.

DS rues the possible careers, he eventually ended up screwing by mere logical reasoning. The fundamental fact of corporate survival and success was under looked and academic scales honored.  

Today, DS realizes that interviews are mere puzzles and whole depends on the luck. A candidate who fails is probably unlucky, certainly good for place where he works today. A passing candidate is probably good but certainly Lucky.


 

Imbalance

DS after a while when moved from trail to highway, switched gears and began the journey in fast track. Blue freak was happy to see other cars which were left behind. Till came a day when other guy came and asked the miles DS had covered. To blue freak's surprise this man took the miles and added to his and claimed the journey traveled in fast track. Blue freak went hyper as miles is what he cared and suddenly that was out of his credits.

He blamed DS of revealing the miles covered and eventually depriving him of credit. On pretext of safe guarding DS' interests, Blue freak forced him to fire a couple of shot here and there which eventually created an imbalance in the system. Moreover, in a race to prize between two warring Bosses. When DS refused to provide the support which Hyena volunteered,  Blue freak went totally out of favor and both events together drove him to dead end. Only option left with him was to break the wall and cross over. Blue freak started building a platform to demolish the wall and he needed tools to support his quest.

An imbalanced system can be easily broken down if usage starts for negative test cases. Blue freak began the process and DS was interrupted more than often. Hyena behaved like a pet Top Dog with Other warring Bosses and perfact Hyena with DS and team. Motive was as simple as creating as much instability as possible. An important part of a reliably built system is the signals before it crumbles and thats what Blue freak pointed to other Boss to bring his attention to golden opportunity. An already wounded DS was rubbed with salt and pepper and freaked out.  Freak, reminded DS of the treatment pelted out to him for his commitment to not support irrationals. When Iron was hot he even forced DS to strike and pull the ball in his court when Game was almost over. Poor DS unaware of all the dynamics succumbed to cheapness, freak reminded as his commitment to excellence .  Soon, enough things settles somehow ....  Everything went smooth.

And then came a time when the Top Boss came calling home. There were meetings and meetings. Everyone had a glimpse of the scenario and taste of water to flow. And then came a new guy in the town. Freak got awarded for his excellent support to other Boss. For the existing Boss was a new headache to report to new guy and suddenly all the privileges were gone. There was a remarkable transition from a king to a mere advisor.  Boss, realized that  spring is over and autumn began and before his leaf is made to fall down he better finds another tree. He Quit. The emotional Speech he gave was very touching and it clearly stated his reasons to quite after having built a strong empire around which began the benchmark for remaining groups in whole of this particular corporate.

And then before a day he could quit. He asked DS if he could have a chat with him for a few minutes which DS agreed. There were revelations which changed the unique map DS had built before the meeting. Amount of data, like Top boss asking to get rid of everyone and pack new members to solve the problem and teach each warring arse a lesson. The most important of them was the recollection of events from Freak which he consulted with him and asked to get rid of DS as Blue freak couldn't find a way to manage him. The event which Freak triggered as he advised DS to do them were exactly the ones which he used against him and his Boss. Image the situation of DS when he realized that what a Pawn he had been in the dirtiest game of "whoever plays dirty gets the reward".

Before Boss quit, he moved DS to अरे यार to save the pain he might have to go later. Soon enough new guy (New Castle) cleaned up all the erring आँ and Blue freak was made to go out as well. And then began a new chapter.
DS was reporting now to अरे यार.

Begining of negative energy

In breakout area lies newspaper which DS begins to read to take a break before his back breaks down.
Comes the Hyena and asks, No work ? Who he was to answer to, thought DS for a split of a second and replied  ... No Work ... , not even in the wildest of day dreams which DS had plenty, realized that Hyena had enough Pee now to mark his territory. The place when DS returned was stinking of unique disgust. The shadow had already been cast. When going goes tough it goes tough, .... DS found apart from the disgust around, there was filthy paper rotting on his desk. Screaming of the fine in thousands DS had to pay because of a smelly farting crocked arse which decided to impose restriction on lesser mortals by mandating to file a petition for approval to release the farts. In absence of protocol breach the mortals had to suffer and the rotting testimony on desk spoke volumes of  farts DS, inadvertently and stupidly indulged  in work continued to pass. Building pressure and rotten letter pushed gas to brink and DS farted loud and clearer and Hyena, who happened to be lifting his leg around on a nearby junk, smelt. Hyena realized, there was an inflow of volumes of Pee and he could afford a few more hind leg lifts.

DS was immediately called to Gas breach management authority office. Absence of petition as right to fart on DS side gave magnitude of confidence to officer to close the office air tight. Poor DS unaware of officer's petition status had to choke in the stinky hostile management before getting the dose of spreading non approved negative energy in surrounding.

By the time DS eventually got pushed out by building pressure pre-approved by officers commission, Hyena had spent most of positive energy by lifting leg everywhere and system was abound with disgust everywhere. All the farting arses praised Hyena for his positive commitment and continuous involvement to make  system more disgusting. Moreover Hyena was rewarded for his efforts by forcing DS to get into his territory so his farts could be monitored. The first move, as expected Hyena made was to show his canines to shit scare DS which possibly could trigger a fart. But then some tactics don't work, there exists other mechanism to get the fart out which Hyena by peeing everywhere and smelling all arses right to the closeness of bottom, learnt.  Hyena created all conducive elements around which generated gas at massive scale and eventually caught DS unaware a day and squeezed the stomach out. Constrained DS had no option than to Fart and falling on the brackets of uncertainty the Hyena trapped all gas. A major victory and great evidence to break DS down completely.

This spreading of Gas brought havoc on DS part and there was a mapping created for all the negative energy spent in the system to unique entity ... the DS.

Stability !!!

In a discussion a senior arse expects that idea proposed as per his understanding is the best  ever thought. Problem comes when there are others who think that arse is straight out of a bird nest and hasn't seen the world. But then does that really matter ? ... The fact that its actually not a birds nest  but a well (कुआँ) with stagnant water is something takes time for others to smell out.

The fact that Frogs in a Well (कुआँ) can think of nothing more than a well's boundary is even more dangerous. Problem begins when the level of water in Well begins to rise and reaches the brim. The whole possibility of merging with water outside with wide scope and abundant unseen can bring the shit out of Frogs. It exposes frogs to something they never encountered before.  Frogs are left with two options

• Move out to a new begining
• Stay there and defend the territory

Moving out for a fresh beginning demands the knowledge or an edge over the other species in Eco system which could be camouflage  or stamina  to outsmart the predator or be a successful one. Lucky spot may compensate for those factors but still survival depends a whole lot on observing and grasping attitude to adept to new surrounding. The fist step if turns positive and frog survives, then chances of producing the offspring with more mature and smart species improve. There is a whole remarkable change ahead waiting. In absence of lacking any of qualities and not finding the conducive environment to survive, a frog is bound to die and probably is left with a choice to get back to the surroundings he acclimatized and perfected well. 

On the other hand, frogs who decide to be at the well are left with another proposition to ward off the incoming challenge. They're not left with no other option than defend the territory. The arrival of new species in the well, though quite possibly might lead to improvement and more healthy and bigger balanced eco system. But that may come with a risk of loosing the foothold in the system as top dog. The dwindling probability for survival and retaining top positions need improvement and then comes a possibility of finding safety in numbers. The whole concept of back pressuring the eco systems is to break its balance which eventually resulting in tilting towards the heavy proposition which lies in numbers. 

A corporate arse which began a journey with a set of boundary conditions and never challenged itself  to taste the other waters understand the philosophy of two propositions very well. The problem of rising water in well or the spreading water from outside to bring level to ground zero is mostly perceived with the same challenge and survival of new species, forced in to well depends on obtaining numbers first. 

In absence of numbers, Arses unite and pose the challenge difficult to be encountered. Arrived species, once in the well and not left with any choice by receding water are destined to suffocate to slow death with all the gas produced by farting united arses.

Bird's eye

In Mahabharata myths one finds Drona asking Arjun that what he sees when asked to shoot a target. Target was a bird parched on a branch on a tree part of densed forest. Arjun replied, The eye of the Bird as that was the target. Legend goes in its ways!! .. Arjun was praised for the focus he had.

Legend has not changed since that day and is being repeated many a times on various occasions. Probably the aerodynamics of shooting an arrow and the curvature it follows based on the wind speed and pressure variations apart from other branches swinging in and out blocking or opening the target were too minor and well understood to be mentioned. The ironically part of the whole myth is the reference to neglected science at that juncture. Worst part followed repeatedly with ages. The bunch of jokers, in an attempt to be Drona, just bothered to point to the eye of the bird and gave no preference to the important associated dynamics. Well, thats no rocket science to know that disciples failed one by one and it was likely to dismiss them as incompetent bunch of fools.

With clock's tick, the mode of nailing target changes. In civilized world, most wars are fought on sports ground. Battlefield changes and now the soldiers need to learn the different tricks. Sachin Tendulkar, is no unknown name in the cricket playing nations. The legend, no less than Arjun any day, demands the same respect. People have made careers only by writing this name in headlines of their articles.

Recently, DS was in a special gathering of folks called by a senior man in charge. after a few brief statements, man realizes that if he could quote something of sort which all generations have gone through then his fart stays punched harder and louder. He states " Sachin Tendular quoted,  when he goes to bat, he only sees the ball and nothing else". This man acts a modern days Drona and shows the true fighting spirit of a Guru who lost the teaching ground and fought for personal favors. The whole concept of quoting a great man by attributing the stuffs coinciding with his own thought process allowed Modern days Drona fart  louder and stinkier. Eventually making place unfit for breathing which is essential part of survival.

Neglected science here, that a Great batsman always looks at the bowlers run up, the way he holds the ball, shinier side of ball, all provide him clues to face the kind of delivery. The oldest plan of battlefield to know your enemies moves much before he attacks you is what batsmen gather by such observation.   To complement watching the ball delivery, seam position, shinier side, wrist grip. Ironically this alone doesn't complete the assessment of moves as depending on the action and height of bowler the bounce, swing or amount of turn or movement of ball occurs. Wicket plays a handy parts too. There are a days when Ajay Jadeja has bowled and taken 2 wickets in an over. Which suggests that, skills alone don't matter and its the luck factor as well. A batsman thinks of all before facing a delivery.  There are many more facts to be taken in consideration which exceed beyond my comprehensions of knowledge.

This man, however, underlines everything and makes statements. Motive is not to make sure that fart is punched out rather he holds the ability to push fart out. His eagerness and openness to encounter anyone and everyone to challenge him blows like a horn in battlefield to call all Eklavyas at one shot and devoid them of the precious thumb.

But modern days Eklavyas are smarter and unwilling to sacrifice the thumb. They chose to keep calm and see no point in proclaiming their arrival or rise to the levels they deserves.  In the absence of any  visible competition  Drona can sign off on a happy note that Arjuns he knows of and teaches and mentors are best in sighting the Bird's Eye. Eklavyas know who can shoot them, But due credit for Arjuns anyway Awaits.

Logically incorrect !!!

In academics strangest things happen. Like the wildest sighting of a professor jumping over a pool of stagnant water on road in wild belle style. Just that you don't happen to be the first one to witness a rare once a day time occurrence.  The catchy part about this professor was his style of dressing, talking and of course behavior. The first time a particular course class was attended. An another professor talked a lot of great stuff about a man. Man was first in his field and had to his credit a second best operating system in world. Only glitch ? system doesn't work. A good mathematical algorithm for computer multiplications which could not be implemented/integrated as no one could understand it. Professor has the highest regards for this man .. an another professor and it was a great once in every year opportunity for this man to repeat his speech apart from fooling a bunch of aspiring kids.  And then came the interesting part of introducing this man. Soon, there was a boyish oddly dressed character strolling to the board wearing a cap bearing a distinctive mark of Chicago Bulls. Suddenly there was an instant noise ....... a burst of laughter. 

These two professors were to offer two different courses in that particular semester. The interesting observation at that time was the missing acknowledgment from the Bull man. May be the first one did not deserve credit!!

Anyway, .... Mid through the semester fist one conducted exams and gave a few set of questions. Interestingly  enough in a class of fifty folks,  49 answered it in one way and just one in another. Needless to mention that 49 got the marks and one didn't.  Hearing remarkable speeches over the past couple of weeks from professor, this boy was bursting with confidence to prove a point and took the answer sheet to discuss with man of role model. The conversation starts as follows :

Boy : Sir, I think this problem looks okay.
Sir :  You mean I'm wrong ?
Boy : No sir, I meant, the solution appears to be correct.
Sir : You mean I have given marks to all the folks who did it wrong  ?
Boy : No sir.
Sir : Then what do you mean ?
Boy : Sir, I meant if you could look at it once ?
Sir with anger : No, I know what the problem is and I have solved it myself. You tell me if I'm wrong.
Boy :  quite
Sir :  If you still think that problem is correct then go to any of the folks who did it rightly and understood that how to solve a problem and then come back and explain to me if thats wrong.
Boy : Sir, I don't know if someone did it correctly.
Sir : Except you, everyone did it right and now go and get someone to explain this to me.
Boy : Sir, I'm not sure if I can bring someone here.
Sir more angry : Comes out of room, shouts at everyone and picks one guy and assigns him the task to find out that who is wrong. This boy or him. Also marks a red mark in register against this boy to make sure that he returns to clarify that how dare he challenged his authority.
Boy 2 : Why have you got me into this issue ?
Boy : I didn't ask Sir if you may like
Boy 2 : Okay, lets discuss ...
Boy : fine ....

After a few discussions its clear that Boy is correct and Boy2 and others who got marks have not handled the problem, but then who would bell the cat ? Boy 2 asks for sparing him somehow!!

Well, Boy decided to go back to Sir.

Sir : You're back
Boy : Yes, Sir and I'm sorry. I looked more in details and found that I didn't understand the logic correctly and so handling is incorrect.
Sir : Hmm ... so now you understand that how to do it correctly ?
Boy : Yes, sir. I do. I apologize for the logical error.

Sir is happy and relieved that eventually this foolish boy learnt a lesson and also at the same time appreciative of the fact that he has acknowledged his mistake and takes Sir in high regards. He taps the boy on shoulder and gives a moral lesson :

Its okay to make mistakes and be wrong at times. But the most satisfactory part and attitude is to logically sit down and analyze the issue. The great character of a man lies in acknowledging his mistakes and amending them.

The only audible statement boy could make was, Thanks sir for the nice and kind words.   I was foolish enough to be logically incorrect.

aag bujhao (Stop fire)

आग बुझाओ is an art difficult to be mastered by less mortals. The whole dynamics of stopping the burning fire is dependent on taking away the basic burning material. Its basically achieved in many ways. In Iraq when Oil Wells were on fire the simple mechanism was evolved to stop the fire. This involved taking a significant quantity of dynamite close to the Well and then blasting it. Concept works on taking away the basic ingredient Oxygen to stop fire instantly.

In a corporate world, the fires are all around but dynamite rare and disallowed then how can the fire be stopped?
Puzzled ? ... well, thats the bad part !! .. Stupid stationary arse in corporate world leads to massive production of gas , which eventually halts thought process. And a devoid thought process confirms an evolution of the arse.

Visualize the Iraq concept and the problem definitions !!! ... The important catch is BLAST!!! ...
What it needs to stop fire is .. just a simple blast ! And isn't corporate world abuzz in abundance with necessary ingredient ? The massive Gas ;).

The simple solution is to just focus at the right time and at the right place and blast louder and clearer.

Another important application of the concept allows one to time the blast by burning fire first and offering his arse to douse it as a fire extinguisher!!  ... An indigenous innovative low cost omnipresent all time hit efficient flexible kids play!!! 

Naming [dis]advantage

Ever wondered what an advantage a name can provide you ? ... Think of a name ... Gupta Ji ... ? You get frustrated ? .. You can call him Kutta Ji. There will be a hint of the rape, but no confirmation. Image an another name .... xxyyzz Bekar. Well, do not do anything right .. and of course wasn't that expected ? ... isn't the name suggest that बेकार is what one is ? ...  Now image if you're to name someone. What would it be ? ... Would you like to take an advantage or give ?  ... Imagine a man who enjoys being the center of affection. Not because its fun being in the limelight but because its good to make people happy even if that comes at the expense of showing himself in different light !! And if person is like that then doesn't it come with the package of pulling others when get a chance ? ... So now think of a name when this thought process of man is something like मार ली , मार लो etc. Which in politically correct tone sound like प्यार दो etc.

If प्यार दो was to be correctly translated in English then it would be like "Getting love", "Distributing love" etc.
When this man is a center of attention for all the fuss .... and were to be given a name, why would one not think of Love and Distribution ? ... The best part about the pat names is the coincidence with existing abbreviation. That basically hides the usage at the same time safeguarding user will politically correctness.  So a safe choice would be to simply chose LDS (Coincides with Linux development server). But here it could simply provide the another meaning "Love Distribution S". The interesting part here though would be the choice of 'S'. Would it be 'System' or "Server" ? ....

Lets take it as following :  Love Distribution Server ....

All the models usually work on simple concepts of Producer/Consumer or Server/Client. if Server were to be chosen. The it would mean that Server is catering to all the clients. And in terminology of distributing love to all the clients ? ... Oh Boy!!! ... We have a Casanova here !!   And if we chose to pick System ? ... We've a mechanism to handle most of the concerned processes. A better and safer bet ? ...

Well that remains open to discussion. The fact that a minor change can swing the advantage on any side puts lot of weight on a name.

I also know of a man who named his daughter Delta. Reason being ? ... Various names have different meanings in different language ... Image चुधामानी , a very popular and common name in South!! .. but then how does it sound to a North Indian ? ... A common name in North .. पूसी ... imagine that in English ? ... Worst part .. famous name Dick in English .. Or imagine the common names now all synonymous with Dog's name ..Tommy, Jacky, Thunder, Typhoon etc ...

The whole concept of a name is to associate an identity with and entity.  Fact that certain unlucky ones get multiple identities attached  with them even before they even get to understand tag is what we recall as Naming [dis]advantage.

Politically correct

The similarity in farting and opening mouth sometimes is the intensity of sound and mostly the stinky flavor of the content. At one hand when it might be quite possible to control and optimize the farts the other problem of controlling mouth if slightly different. Interesting point about controlling mouth is not alone when and what to say  but also that how to say it. A simple simple question like .. "Do you doubt him ?" can be answered as simply as "Yes or "No" or "I trust no one" or "why would I ?"  or .... . umpteen number of ways. But important point is that which one is politically correct ? 

A person, famous for getting ragged each time he opens his mouth or as a matter of fact not, simply used the phrases : 

आप तो मार लेते हैं , मार ली मेरी, .... and blah blah ... 

This person is not politically correct, a simple suggestions like rather than saying this, if person could use phrase like आप ने प्यार दिया .... आप बहुत प्यार देते हैं .. blah blah ... basically will convey the same meaning. But in more of a politically correct sense. Beauty of the phrase is the usage in all weather condition. An another person holding a very high position in the hierarchy suggests that when someone asks a question, its a good idea to praise the question first by saying thats a very good question! ... But then he completes it by saying that no matter how junk the question is. The basic art of प्यार दो essentially is to make the person feel important first. Needless to say that political correctness gives one an authority to distribute love. It could in sort of forced one or with will.

Another example of a political correctness of is quite pictorial. A man suggests that for everything there is always an ingress and egress. Any man has one way of ingress and twp ways of egress. When he says two, the ways of explanations makes it politically correct. Refer to pictures for two ways :

First way : 

 Second way :