Charity at what expense ??

When DS entered the corporate world, an irritating character welcomed the batch and was proud to let everyone know that he came with a luggage of ten years in this corporate. This man was a big name in the silicon valley area and enjoyed  fame to maximum extent. This was the same man who took classes for that Batch of folks to explain that what Corporate Ethics are.

This man on one particular occasion checked all floors with intentions of strip searching everyone as workplace resource folks found one Fire sensor misbehaving. A real obnoxious character yet important in corporate ?

Man is so ambitious that at a certain phase of life he quit Corporate in the name of doing some charity! ... Wonders, DS that what Kind of Charity would an obnoxious man like him do ? .... Saying is really true that when a Man is left with lots of Money and time, the Devil rules his brain! .... And this man ? .... he's Devil for himself ? ............Wonder what went through his mind.

Well, after a few months, This Man was back in Business and with a promotion! .... At a time its difficult to find that what keeps pushing people up and up!! .... This man was rehired for doing what ? ......

Anyway, story went that Man tried his luck at his best and didn't manage to achieve something he expected. Experienced and logic suggested this man to get back to what he does best .... Nothing !! ... So he came back.

Hardly a few months in new Role and a great All hands was called. One of the very powerful and senior person looking for Numbers everywhere as performance matrix called up this Man on Dias and announced to the world that this man from now onwards is a very powerful person (VP). First VP for this organization !! .... And the VP ?  He appeared shocked. More shocked than A Miss India contestant! . ...... And expressions on Face ? ... Mind boggling. Wonder, what if someone from Miss India training camp had been there than this corporate would still have enjoyed the services of this VP!!

A great powerful position and work ? ..... Absolutely mind boggling. Create video blogs and send that whats on his mind! ..... Absolutely nothing of course as such the corporate is concerned.  How good does it sound to spend the corporate money on personal adventures and still credit the work done to official status ?  VP is powerful enough to make that happen. No wonder if VP one day will manage to archive his personal dreams and goals with Corporate money, But at the same time is smart enough to fool around the Top Bosses and while away his time doing great charities.

When VP doesn't have any Charity to take care of ... he has utilized the time to create a smart system. He has created a smart place where he feeds all his Gas produce and system demonstrates that how efficiently thats being used unless you go on the back side and see the FARTING machinery!

What a indigenously designed system to hide his FARTs and at the same time demonstrate it !! ... Well ... thats first VP from this Corporate for you folks.
 

Cheap NGO

NGO is really worried and pained. One can easily understand that hidden beating marks on his walnut size आँ must certainly be paining. After all there is an art required to sit down with beaten Ass. Though Piles must have taught him the requisite but then has he ever bothered to learn ? ...........Even Worst!! .. No one believes in buttering his आँ or chair either which could provide little lubrication and take away the impact and thus pain.

There is always a downside in being the nop. NGO must be realizing that, though slowly.

Beating NGO's getting is because of his malformed policies which he never had authority to execute. Interesting point though is that Even without implementing his policies NGO finds them everywhere and has obvious resentment that these already exists and he can't implement them. How can system be improved this way ?

गुरु जी's Yoga has further compounded the problem. NGO strongly believes that जनता finds doing Yoga easier than doing the actual work. But never bothered to learn that who is the constant source of inspiration ?

जनता thinks that if he can spend few cycles doing nothing while working out in GYM and of course warming his office  then why not simply follow the leader ? After all it pays to be the followers!!

गुरु जी were recently taken aback when on mentioning that backlog of work is exceeding as attrition in group has dwindled the resources NGO counter questioned that how about Utilizing the Yoga hours ? Anyway, We're short of funds.

Wonder if गुरु जी bothered to ask back how about getting rid of WHITE elephants and compensate the fund ... ... But I wonder if NGO would have understood the beating. आंजी though must certainly have figured that out!!

The legend of "Chaap[Print]"

The worst issue with आंजी is that he hardly recognizes anyones just like that. He needs special help. Just like the basic natural animal instinct.

There have been certain occasions when only these instincts have come to help. Sometimes limitation on  heavy  glass magnification requires extra help which takes over the priority and becomes dominant. Nonetheless आंजी is happy. This offers a visual though blurred!

Couple of others had a dilemma today as there was  going to be an introduction of a system which could take the छाप and of course smell and do some kind of आंजी type operation for recognition! ...

But not stop always growing Bunny has not taken this lightly and raised concerns that for a growth oriented person like him ..........this kind of system is a total failure.

Hmm ... Replied आंजी  .... Bunny ... Nothing to worry.  Personalities like yours announce the arrival from  miles away !!! ... Legends of छाप always remain pre-authenticated!

Controvertial Aan Ji !!

How much controversial can आँजी go ? .... In a broad daylight with all eyes and ears popping out आंजी  announced to world that a particular colleague has the biggest आँ in the town and आंजी  is certainly eying it... Man!!! .....

   Colleague gets to know of it  all and escalates to the top echelon members who immediately set up a 1:1 with आंजी  to sort out the matter. Seems VL gets to discuss first and decide that if its worth letting others go down the path or he can settle it at the top most level itself ...

Stage is ready for a face off for आंजी and VL. आंजी with his shivering legs and of course his आँ enters the room.

But to start with VL is not sure about actual escalation. VL only knows that escalation is pertaining to some आँ but for what ? ....Not sure. VL seeks to clarify.

VL calls up the complainant while आंजी waits.

VL : Hmm .. Regrading your escalations ... is it related to the आँ ?  ....................  Hmm ...You mean you took offense ? But do you not have an आँ ? ............. So is it related to size or something else ? .................. Hmm ... thanks for clarifying.

VL to आंजी : Hmm ... seems you referred his आँ as the biggest in town! ... Is it the right accusation ?
आंजी : ........
VL : On what scale you found his आँ big ?
आंजी : ......
VL : I believe my questions expect an answer
आंजी : Sir ....
VL : So did you refer his आँ as big one ?
आंजी : No sir. I never said that his आँ is big. Though I might have said Its huge ....... But that has no relevance to his आँ
VL : stands up and turns around.  Then was it to this one ?
आंजी : Sir !!
VL : What do you mean ?
आंजी : Its nothing !! ... in his mind  (Whacko .... This one ? ... Just the walnut size!)
VL : May I have details to your आँ scale ?
आंजी : .............
VL : I always thought mine was the biggest
आंजी : ..........
VL : ... Okay ... Seems difficult to find answers from you ....... But as an escalation has been raised and action is imminent. I need to take the appropriate decision.

And at that time suddently everything in Room began vibrating. VL checked his phone! ... But there was no call !

Actualy reason though was आंजी's shivering आँ which gave up and and began vibrating and of course caused ripple effect. However, आंजी decided to let VL attribute that to his probable micro आँ effect. After all VL is a powerful being.

Anyway .....

VL : To grow this organization we need first class best आँ and as you posses the special talent of identifying them naturally. You get a special role in interview panel!

आंजी : Not expecting that ..... ........
                   And what about the man who escalated ? On a side note ... even आंजी's आँ had the similar looks.
VL : Of course .... he gets promoted ! .... ......... BTW ... Thanks for your help.

Low taste !!

Once roaming around in isle DS found NGO curiously looking for him. NGO wanted  DS to join for an outing for a field  study for a great project which in all likelihood NGO's team will not be doing for sure. Knowing that DS decided to not say NO.

Visionary leader (VL) and other sets of Senior boss's accompanied NGO. DS got to sit in the car  driven by VL. NGO accompanying VL was a great match. VL on the way listed down all the restaurants and home food joints and all available PLOTS for sale!! ... Vow! ... and DS ? ... He knew nothing !!  .... Not even the street's name! .... But then DS is some छोटू guy !! ...

NGO spoke !! .... Hey VL ... you should have been there for the last night meeting with those bunch of jokers ?
Headed by you ? ... Asked VL ....  Hmm ... Oh Ya ... I was heading ... admitted NGO.

VL : So what happened ? ...
NGO : There were too many of Jokes and no serious discussion in that meeting by others!!
VL : ... Hmm .. and where were you with your ridiculous set of jokes ? ....
NGO : .... he he he ....

And at that time Radio in car had FM-91.5 Prithivi  shouting for punch line based on a word !! ...

And then said NGO : ... hey guys you know .. once he asked for punch line based on Taste.
I parked my car on side, took out cell phone and typed "Don't blame me for low taste, I've fear of heights"


VL : ... Vow ... and I thought people sitting in the same room decide and send all those punch lines !!

NGO : ... Hey come on VL I even got a T-Shirt with my caption ....

VL : .... Hmm ..... good that you aint wearing that T-Shirt, else we'd have to leave you behind. This place where we go for field study .... is only for Foodies. Of course sponsored by  Corporate ....

DS, knew by now that how VL knew each and every Joint on the way!!

HP Gas ...

गुरु जी was very happy today with Bunny's performance in Yoga sessions. Bunny did everything correct by doing absolutely nothing. Even Greater achievement was the missing pain !! ... Bunny had almost no pain et all ! .. Not even for the शवसाना ! ... Wonder if Balm has become cheaper ?

Unfortunately आंजी didn't make it to sessions and thus  we missed out the Balm secret!

Sometimes आंजी presence  is so much important as is Bunny's. Whereas आंजी can defy  free fall in an elevator because of his sheer weight which is totally unexplainable by science, Bunny can defy Gravity with just one simple push!  .... Sometimes group wonders if take the lift or just hold onto Bunny ? ... Only factor ruling in lift's favor is that no one is prepared  to go up as such yet in case bunny loses control on propulsion ....

For a change गुरु जी decided to join the group for lunch and while coming back disputed/challenged that Bunny's role is being undermined by DS and आंजी |  Bunny is a global figure and आंजी cube's temperature control is not the only Job Bunny's doing. गुरु जी even doubts that all Global warming groups are wasting their time by not focusing on right subject! ... Makes sense ?? ... .. Well, Bunny only knows!!

And then while crossing the road the group found  a truck coming with full load of HP commercial gas. DS wondered why do they need it here ?  ...... गुरु जी not realizing the question inadvertently undermined his previous statement and suggested ... ... Probably for cooking !!

Hmm .... Wonders one ... when whole world is being advised to concentrate on right subject ... the subject is eating the food cooked by HP gas ? .... What an utter waste of resources !! ........

And soon there was a confirmation from Bunny.

Dirty Job

There was a crucial time in project when Cobra used his own Gas production and blamed it on DS and one another one. Hell broke lose and trues colors of anyone and everyone came out. Splashed in those true colors surrounding appeared pitch black. Colors Decaying like dead made situation so bad that something was required to execute one more cover up operation!

To rescue, here it was ..... The man from US with distinct hair style! .... On almost half moon head, this man styled a bunch of few pitch black hair which he adjusted with all permutation and combinations during the course of time ! ... .... Just within a span of one gathering with DS and other, man was quick enough to bring out to the CAUSES the causes that everything sunk here in slush and in the calm of dead sea but then man promised ......

 nothing to worry ... You've the right man you need ... The Toilet cleaner!! ... And then he adjusted the bunch of hair, quickly reflecting how to flush a commode ...

Point was taken well and CAUSES promptly gave him the FLUSH to control.

Well, here it was .. the Toilet cleaner with all sorts of equipments. A sharp and penetrative tongue to attack from behind and worthless ideas to remove the clogging! .... Pouring oil to a shit hole doesn't make the flow easier, Cleaner learnt but the hard way.   Cleaner invented ideas to manage simple commode like why allow anyone to sit on that to shit at first place ? After all thats the internal business of cleaner to gas around there.

On one occasion, cleaner came with excellent idea .... Cleaning was something man was responsible for. But not that who does it ! ... So why not get it done by others ? .... After all it pays to first figure out the use cases and then take them one by one ? ..... Many a man FART a lot while using commode and when there is a continuous supply of vital essentials then why not use the water less JET plane's mechanism ? .... However, in reverse way. Idea was amazing but lacked the gas and nothing moved ....

Contrary to benefiting the  shit hole ... idea created air lock in the passage and anything which worked before came to a standstill.

Hmm ... faced with challenges  Toilet cleaner went ahead and reported to CAUSES the causes again that DS disrupted the whole proceedings by doing following :

• By bringing low grade oil
• By bringing slush than water 
• By not helping people fart louder and faster
• By not supporting in preventing people from using it 

CAUSES were quick to respond to reports and asked DS to submit report explaining his actions. In the meantime Toilet cleaner has reportedly changed loyalty for reasons which would be explained in new post later. 

The Commode however, still remains there ... stuck ... Just like the the way Cleaner left it. And guess what ? .... The lock can at least be cleared if Cleaner had himself farted once on it !! ... 

After all ... what it needs is .... LOTS OF GASES !!!

Favourite Student!!

गुरु जी is loving teaching Yoga. The best part of exercise is the unspoken team building activity which eventually makes the bond stronger. No one knows yet that if गुरु जी realize that its best opportunity to establish himself at a personal level as well. गुरु जी is doing this, just for his personal love for Yoga and culture, something not everyone is prepared to go distances for ... specially when NGO is right against it !! ... Lots of risk ... but one may ask that if NGO is considered a "nop"   then what exactly does that mean ? ....  ... Lets wait to watch for that outcome.

Through the various classes which turned out much more than bargained for, DS realized that गुरु जी is amazing when it comes to training Yoga. To start with, as an open confession  idea probably was to give a heads up and let it die a slow death. But after the very first session there has been a turn around and unusual interest of following it more and more ... Even more impressive and should I say mind boggling is the way गुरु जी chants mantras and opening and closing prayers. The confidence level is sky rocketing. DS wonders if there would be anyone ever in class to repeat so emphatically ? Well, that remains to be seen ....... But in the meantime one wonder is almost discovered and thats the favorite   student गुरु जी has stumbled upon.

Well, there is no need to use big part of dumb ass brain to guess that its Bunny!! ......

Bunny has been so impressive that he's discovered the art of doing everything perfect by any means. Bunny has learnt to go distances and if not possible then invent ways to come out of them. Like many people still struggling to get to final Halasana position
                                                         and bunny  ?

Bunny of course has gone miles ahead and provided improvisation.


The great part of improvisation has reminded गुरु जी that Yoga is best practiced in an open air theater. Moreover, this has encouraged गुरु जी to go a little deeper and teach Pavan Muktasana as well. Bunny of course is one level up when it comes to Pavan Muktasana. The great thing about Bunny is that he can do this with ease anytime with almost nature perfect precision. No wonder why आंजी last year shifted his Cube! ... Bunny just behind the new cube helped control the temperature that too naturally!

गुरु जी after every new or old Asana never forgets to ask his favorite student that which part of body was aching. Favorite student has never disappointed गुरु जी and has always come back with reasonable answers. On one particular occasion even his आँ was paining after गुरु जी officially taught पवन मुक्तासना | One may wonder how ? .... May be that day Bunny forget to apply the hemorrhoid balm ? .....  However, its not the आँ alone and almost everything has pained! .... Bunny even has his Bums paining for शवसाना |

The Best Asana Bunny can demonstrate is मुर्गासना. Its not that Bunny has been favorite student of गुरु जी alone ! ... Bunny had been practising this since bunny was a child. In a class of 30 minutes he practised this always for 25 minutes !! ... All damn bloody अध्यापक  were 5 minutes late to classes!!

Important part is that many गुरु have come and gone but Bunny has always been the favorite student of all of them.

Cycles ...

DS while roaming around for a quick time pass at certain areas reserved for NGO found गुरु जी coming out of of NGO's office. The expressions indicated something was no so good with always happy looking गुरु जी |

That perhaps was the best time to not touch the nerve and let it go. There're always times when cord strikes and music  blends well with the situations. DS preferred to wait for one such occasion.

Occasion didn't take much time to arrive in the end. गुरु जी shivering with anger and contempt asked simple questions like who is he to ask about questions like गुरु जी लगता है आजकल दिन बड़े हो गएँ हैं ?  Doesn't the same applies to him as well ? .... But then who will Bell the cat ?

NGO is pretty disrespectful for anyone's feelings and forgetting meaning to his position believes in  questioning others. Only advantage NGO enjoys basically is no liability factor. A NON GOVERNING AUTHORITY comes into the picture only when the existing one fails. However, here NGO is actually governing but because of positions and circumstances finds himself other ways!

In short NGO is like the Rolls Royce Phantom with no fuel ! ....

Anyway till NGO finds answers to his quest, he wishes to enjoy the cycles achieved with बड़े दिन by reading books and staring at PC if not calling someone for time pass. Of course the board on door displays "Too Busy, Don't disturb"