Good Parts !

Ravi loved and maintained his car like anything. He had bought the most expansive car he could ever afford using his hard earned money and maintenance money spent on that car always felt justified to him. His friends Ramesh, however, spent less on his car and went to local mechanics for repair and services.  Ravi often ridiculed Ramesh for trusting on local mechanics. It was well known that most of them changed the good parts with bad parts and often cheated people.

One fine day, Ravi found car trouble and called his favorite show room  authorized servicing center. a representative from center looked at the problem and provided the problem diagnosis and estimated cost. To Ravi's surprise, the cost of almost 1/3rd the price of his car which by now had already depreciated by 50 %. Looking at that he was disheartened and understood that he could not afford to fix his car.

Ramesh, by some means came to know of this issue and suggested him to show the car to his mechanic. Ravi agreed and called the mechanic.

Mechanic looked at the problem in the car and explained that what parts need to be changed. For replacing all the parts and his labour cost the budget he provided was half of what service center had provided. Ravi however was not able to afford even that. The Mechanic suggested that if he could add the good second hand parts then cost could be reduced by further half.

Ravi agreed and mechanic fixed the issue. During the repair Ravi asked if all mechanics changed the good parts to bad parts.  Sir, earlier it was quite popular and mechanics used to do that but not now. Years ago when someone needed some part, the common modus operandi was to remove it from someone else and replace it with bad one. But from the time these authorized show room centers have opened up the shops, the problem is almost solved.

How ? Wondered Ravi !

Sir, They replace the good parts with good parts and we buy the good  replaced parts cheaply from them, like the one I bought for your car.  At least that works for me ...

Ravi was speechless and understood that "authorized" doesn't mean honest and sometimes it may not be bad to seek the second opinion than trusting someone blindly !

The Hero!

Danny was a aspiring new business orientated young man. He explored many businesses to invest and eventually succeed. One day when he was passing through his house on his bike, it unfortunately got punctured.   Danny looked around and thankfully found a tyre vulcanizing shop nearby. He was very happy that puncture repairing shop was nearby and he didn't have to drag it too much.

Puncture repair shop owner was a nice person and he very nicely behaved and did a good job. and when he was at work, Danny happened to meet his daughter in the shop who looked very pretty and attractive. Danny initiated a conversation and found he very sweet talking. Her name was Meena. They both exchanged greetings and parted on good note.

One day, at a nearby movie theater Danny happened to meet Meena again and they spoke and went out for a lunch together at restaurant. They liked each other so much that they met each other again and again and more often. 

Danny began exploring the area around her father's shop for business and came to know the good deeds her father had been doing for years. For some reason the stretch appeared haunted and many people had fallen off their bike and had accidents. In most cases, he father was kind enough to assist them to nearby hospital. Everyone around that area loved him.

Meena on the other hand somehow despised her father and never really spoke anything good about him. She got angry the moment his reference came but never uttered a single word to hint that why she really did so.

Time passed and eventually Danny opened a h/w shop business in the nearby area. One day when he was passing through Meena's father's shop he lost balance of his bike and hit the median and got injured. When he got consciousnesses, he found Meena by his side who was crying and looked angry. Danny found that Meena's father had brought him to the hospital and informed that his bike's tyre had got punctured which resulted in accident and the fall. He'd even brought the nail which caused the accident in an envelope.

Few days later,  Danny recovered and checked out of hospital and met the owner of hospital also before clearing the dues  and thanked him for his hospitality.

Back at his office place he just happened to open the envelope and found a strange looking nail. He realized that it was a special stock he'd received as sample and was very unique. Out of curiosity he opened up the CC TV record of his business clients and found that baggage was sold to Hospital owner.  Danny began connecting the dots now and understood that why Meena didn't appreciate her father. His theory was that Hospital owner bought the nails and either he or Meena's father spread them on the road which caused punctures. Whereas fixing tyre got Meena's father business, he also made a cut in taking the victims to hospital where Hospital guy split profit.

Danny understood and warned Hospital guy and Meena's father with Video evidence and after that, there were no accidents ever seen on that road.

Monkeys and the crocodile !

Once upon a time a group of monkeys used to live around the bank of a river. They'd jump from one tree to another tree and eat a lots of yummy fruits. In the river there was a big strong crocodile who also used to swim around the trees and look for the monkeys on the hanging branches.

Monkeys were very cautious about the crocodile and their leader always advised them to keep away from crocodile and not venture near the river bank when crocodile is around.

One day unfortunately one monkey was hanging low on a branch and Crocodile jumped out of water and tried to catch it. Seeing this, the leader monkey threw some fruits on crocodile and others also started following the same. Crocodile disturbed by this melee left the monkey alone and swam away.

After that day, monkeys saw the crocodile move around in water but not trying to catch any of them. One day a small baby monkey fell in the water and all the monkeys panicked. They knew it was a sure food for crocodile now. But to their surprise, the crocodile, nudged the baby to river bank safely!

Monkeys were shocked but still they remained careful. One day again another monkey fell down in the river and this time too, the crocodile helped monkey reach the bank without harming him.

This prompted the leader of the monkeys to ask that why would crocodile do that ? I'm a changed crocodile now .. replied Croc .. perhaps it has something to do with this fruits you'd hit me with. Probably that showed my brain the wrongs I was doing.

After that day, crocodile would swim around casually and monkeys also became less wary of him and slowly became friendly. Where do you live ? asked one monkey curiously to crocodile some day ... Oh the other side of river ...answered croc. Oh .. I wonder, how that side look alike - said money ? .. Oh if you would like to see that then I could take you on my back and show it ... Said Croc.

Monkey agreed and croc took it to other side ...  Lush green areas, trees laden with fruits is what Monkey saw and liked it very much. They both returned to the other side of banks. Monkey told others that we should relocate to that side as it appears better.

Everyone agreed and Crocodile promised to take them one by one each day. And migration started.
Finally only one monkey, the leader  remained and his term came.  Half way down the river, Croc dropped the monkey in the river and started attacking it.

Now leader monkey realized that Croc played them all along and cunningly trapped them in a sinister plot. Croc never took the monkeys to other side and ate them one by one each day. Unfortunately it was too late for him too and he was eaten as well.  In his last moments he realized that group should have never trusted the predator ! .... After all they're not more than a food for Croc!

East of west .. Shit is the best !

Ramya was a nice aspiring cook and one day decided to participate in a reality TV cooking competition. Little did she realized the complexities of dealing with people involved with showBiz.

Her hard work and passion for food brought her to a certain level but she noticed that judges were not fair and competition was kind of decided and it was only a matter of time that she'd exit the show. It became even more clear when one day even after cooking a nice food, the judges kind of almost ousted her. She survived and on tasting the other food, she understood that the competition condition that "Food must taste good" is just a farce. "Judges must taste the food and declare the best food" is only to fool the audience and not really give a fare judgement.  And hence she decided to do something and teach a lesson to judges.

Next assignment turned out to be a "dessert".

Everyone cooked with lots of vigor, complexity and involvement but Ramya disdainfully worked hideously.  And when time came for the final taste and judge .... Everyone brought forward the great looking dishes which judges admired and despised based on their preference.

Last was the Ramya and she brough forward a dish hidden under another lid ....

First judge looked at it and smiled mischievously ..  Lets see what she "Managed" to cook up something this time. Ramya disregarding the insults thrown directly laughed devilishly .... Seeing her laugh .. the other two judges came forward and removed the lid off the plate ....

And off  they went vomiting ...    which brought forward everyone's attention there to the table and dish ....  It was nothing but pure evil genius dish ... It looked just like the freshly disposed "shit".
Third judge also saw that now and began vomiting as well ....

All contestants were laughing by now ... The thought of judges tasting that "shit looking" dish now ... was hilarious and they couldn't control that anymore ...

By now, first Judge recovering from the vomit looked hatefully at Ramya and said that he is not gonna taste that ... In fact none of them is gonna taste that ... Laughed Ramya and reminded them that by the laws of the show they're bound to taste it and judge it ... 

Judges understood that pretty well ... and realized that she was avenging for the insults they'd imparted on her ... they'd no other option then taking a byte out of the the seemingly "shit" looking dish ... !

Of course Ramya didn't win the contest and had to walk out after the incident ... but she felt proud that she gave a fitting dish for the occasion ...

Judges also learned a lesson and never ever insulted anyone after this incident and in cooking shows that became a major proverb .... 

"People often compared timelines with ... Since that shitty dessert !"

Transfer!

Sr Manager (SM) : Morning, walking inside the office with bag in hand ....  Security guard greats ... Morning sir, late today  ....
SM :  Yeah, got stuck in traffic ....
SM Enters the office .... looks around ....... almost empty office ....  shakes his head ... and goes straight to his office ....

Ch1 :  Just before he enters the office ... a character is sitting next to his office ... who instantly hides his screen ...

SM : Inside ... dials a meeting .... vague sound audible outside ...

Clock .. ticks ....  some moments for SM meeting expressisions and some arbitrary statements ..

Going past .. 11:30 .... Now some people start walking in slowly .... one by one ....

CH1 : Walk out to Cafeteria ...  Some people sitting, having tea/coffee  and talking there ...
 Random ... sound in background ... so what did you do on weekend etc ...
CH1 : Making his tea/coffee .. and heating in the oven ...  .. Some background sounds keep coming

CH1 :  Takes tea out from oven .. walks  Snatch a news paper  buried inside someones hand ... without any courtesy  ...spills one's drink but doesn't apolozize ...

Ch2 : The one spilled tea/ -- &get; curses ... silently  others give a disgusting look ...  and look at each other
Ch1 :  Doesn't care .. . ..and starts reading ...
Another one walks ... in and comes behind Ch1 :
Ch3 :  Interesting news ... ?  something on MidDay ...


Discussion continues .......  eventually bickering starts for SM ....

Another silencing slowly .... saying SM is coming ..

SM : Walks in with his bottle .... slowly filling the bottle ...

Group : Starts discussing on ... some techinical stuffs ...  Then starts walking out one by one ... Got meeting ... blah blah ...

CH1 : Walks accross to another isle .. where a Girl is sitting and making weired expressions.
Ch1 : What happened ? Who pissed you off on Monday morning  ?
G1 :  One stupid fellow ... Wished me belated birthday and blurted if I'm 25 now ? What the hell ? ... Do I look like 25 ?

Ch1 : No ..... after a pause ... so what birthday did you celebrate ...
G1 : It was my 24th birthday  ...
Ch1 : smiles ....  Yeah,  .... that fellow wasn't just stupid .. he was mean ! ...

Some nearby folks gether ..... wish happy birthday ...

G1 : You guys should eat some cake ...
G2 :  Did you get some candles ?
G1 : No ... No need to blow candles and cut the cake its the left over ... from Friday party ! .... 

Ch1 : Arey ... lets call that Stupid fellow for cake then ... He must be traumtized for his goof up ! ..
Everyone laughs ....

Ch1 : Turns around and ask G2 .... So "Tum kitni purani ho ?"
G2 : What  man ...  ... I've just joined ... I thought you knew ?  ...

Ch1 : ... Never mind, ... I meant ... how old are you now ?
Everyone laughs ....
G2 : 24
Ch1 :  Hmm  .. Shakes head .....

SM : walking around and staring at everyone ....
Ch4: Comes sniffing around .... I thought some eatables  here ? ....

Everyone walks back to their places .....

Ch1 : Goes back to his place .... 
SM1 : In a meeting ..... with his manger ....
SM2 :  This project doesn't seem to be in right state .....I'm not confident about the execution .. we need to be more proactive and have a radical look at this ...
SM1 : Shakes head .....
SM2 : Gets up from chair and on the door ... lets meet next week and assess the project ...  and walks out ... Ch1 turns around ... and finds SM1 bit edgy ....



 
Dilbert law :

I'm an escalator ... Yes, please do .. worse case will take the package and move out ...
if its good .. done or else will have to bring in bottle to the discussions

Not you but as other person has come in to context now then I must mention that in third person sense ....

Targetted person :  Sir, you've lots of experience so you know it all ...

Narrater : Smart ass pulling the leg ;) ... smarlty calling me idiot now ...


Katkar ...

Haan bhai  kaatkar aa gayi  ?

Katkar : .. sir ,,, main to yahan pe bahut der se hoo n ...

person : -- No .. not that katkar ...
Katkar : Then which one ?

Other one : Katkar to nahi aayi
Katkar : arey main hoon na

Person1 and 2 together  :  No not that katkar

Katkar :  kya Koi or katkar bhi hai ?

person1 : lets cut the katkar pause ... (puzzled face of katkar ... ) discussion ...

crap

Sitting in an uncomfortable seat of an auto which stank like shit, officer Gaya Ram found it difficult to comprehend that it(stink) competed with his profession and modus operandi. It wasn't as prominent as his job or task at hand yet it bothered him. It bothered him so much that he wasn't sure if even auto driver was bothered. Incidentally Auto drivers name was Ruka Ram and it was coincidental or a big joke, that Gaya Ram didn't understand. He didn't bother about the "Ram" coincidence in their name or the place as a matter of fact. It was not a BJP ruled state, at least not yet. and yet there were instances of lotus bloom everywhere. No one was sure that if deep mud emanating from the overflowing sewer nearby germinated them right under the auto. However, coincidence which he understood, actually was the "Ruka" (Stopped)... It was all Ruka (Stopped) traffic along with stench from auto and other vehicle's exhausts which propelled smoke faster than the abuses Gaya Ram had to endure for not completing his one of the tasks.
Gaya Ram didn't understand that when nearly halted traffic task was never looked by anyone like him in offices then how they'd the audacity to abuse him for not doing something which no one anyway does ?  He didn't even want to think about the other tasks which he hadn't done either as that made him feel even worse. Only if a VVIP was not attached to the case, he could have easily moved the files under the dusty dungeon of other case files. He always understood that once files were moved,  no one like him which understandably were all of them .. really cared! .. They all had dust allergy and living in country like theirs, they all understood that it was each man for himself. No one anyway cared for women so that was not an issue anyway.  But this was a different case and file just couldn't be moved without arriving a conclusion and a report. No one really understood what that even means ? Ironically digging some old documents and catching dust infection on the way, Gaya Ram had discovered that it was a long and tedious protocol and required extensive work. Something which no souls like him was accustomed to perform anymore. Visiting a site, gathering vital evidence and finding the root cause with a detail reasoning and probable solution ? Who all do such things ? Officials must be kidding! At least that's what he thought and he knew it well that unless there was a pressure of suspension and transfer to other places, no one really would have bothered about the file getting dusted. Just that a damn VVIP tag, bothered them all.

Now, everyone in his line of chain had to work to wait for his report and add their lines after presumably reading it. Each one of them was involved and unless task was finished and  corresponding action taken, it had to be done almost every second day. The unseen burden combined with risk of disciplinary action looming large had made everyone jittery and that added more to the uncomfortably sitting Gaya Ram.

Sahib, said the driver, its gonna take a little longer to reach the destination. Today for some reason there is a bit more of a traffic. Usually at this location and time can cover 7 Kmph. Today its painfully slow and moving only at 5Kmph.  Driver then stepped out of the auto and moved to one side of the road and began relieving himself. The vibrating auto with a constant deafening sound coming from exhaust gave a cruel meaning to Ruka Ram's name. Everyone almost everywhere honked expecting someone to make some space magically and move the vehicle, cursed stopped traffic. Everyone shouting to each other that "Ruka hai ... Ruka hai" ... sounded as if everyone hooted for Ruka Ram to make artistic patterns on the wall shaped canvas under painted with  pictures of many pious Gods. Ruka Ram also in no hurry to return to auto seemed to be enjoying working on his master piece as if  he's there to challenge Mona Lisa of Da Vinci.

Suddenly a character presented himself with chants of "chai chai" .... Gaya Ram uncomfortably tried to ignore him but was least successful as man was persistent.  Sir, just Rs - 10/- quipped the "Chai-Wala" ... and began his mann ki baat that its bit different than the regular Jam  ... most people may not know as they always see the Jam here but today is bit different. So what's the problem? asked another man on motorbike who managed to find some time by taking off his fingers from horn. Ah ... I could tell but then I wont be able to sell my tea, said the Tea vendor and began moving away ... I'll take one ... said the voice from behind and Gaya Ram realized that master work on big canvas was over. He needed to recharge and tea was a good option to start with ... I'll take one too ... said the guy on bike. Chai wala began pouring tea in two plastic cups ... the same plastic which was banned few years ago and was supposed to attract a spot fine of some 500 change. It was quite obvious that none really cared for the rules and of course none of the officers inquired or initiated anything to enforce it either.  Gaya Ram was fully convinced now that it must have been some bad deeds in his last birth that's forcing him to go through this torture when everyone did the obvious of doing nothing!

Suddenly sound of sipping tea broke Gaya Ram's slumber and he realized that most were tired and had switched off their's vehicle. Everyone at that moment sounded like an educated idiot and stopped honking. It was a miracle, ... and yet was hard to believe and may be that was the reason that it was a miracle! Chai Wala after having handed over the tea cups and collecting money sounded bit content. Gaya Ram was sure that two cups had already recovered his cost more or less but was still not sure! ... In this city water was precious, yet available at most drainage. Milk was supplemented or augmented by acrylic paint and that was the pain point for exact cost estimation. Gaya Ram was so spent doing his job that he never bothered that others like him in health department never bothered either. Had he paid some attention to public rumors he'd have exactly known the estimates!

By now Ruka Ram had already finished his tea and also had decorated the used cup in middle of road. Exactly middle of the road for traffic coming from the other side. Ruka ram was a gentleman who believed in not keeping Indian economy synonymous to his name. He believed that it was a common knowledge that plastic cups were recycled and only then good for environment. Had he crushed the cup and dumped in a garbage bin which possibly was impossible  to find, he'd have robbed someone a chance to pick that cup and recycle! ...  Ruka Ram now demanded that Chai Wala explain what he knows about the Jam which incidentally was the first reason for having bought the tea and kick start the economy. But none actually understood that Chai Walas are more complex than one knows. And what they think can't be known by asking. It has to be good day and mood only then any Chai Wala starts his "Mann Ki Baat".  and today was not the day and everyone almost Ruka, this was the moment to cash on the profits! .. And profits had increased more as Chai is best taken with Pakodas! ... And India with a population number of no one knows but everyone feels is clear that has many Pakoda vendors! ... This is the most popular and profitable job central government had created after promising crores of  jobs! And everyone wanted to make crores. Chai Wala only wanted a few of them and yet he had hard time covering most Pakoda guys covering the cornered commuters! ....

Ruka Ram had no issue with Chai Wala moving away without any explanation. He had lost hopes in all of them. By now it'd become well known everywhere that promises Chai Walas make have no meaning in practicality ... It just looks good in Social media. Ruka Ram turned around and asked Gaya Ram if he managed to get any money in his Jan Dhan Yojna account ? Nah ... Replied Gaya Ram. Gaya Ram understood that his dressing style was not indicative enough for an auto driver to know that he was a superior government officer ! ,...and he also didn't understand that  Gaya Ram and his other friends alike him never believed in promises. They'd multiple first hand experiences when they even got money but had no meaning or made any difference to the other guy. The beauty of cash transaction is that  its not even a transaction and can not be proven unless recorded. However, even if recorded,  it may not really be admissible at right places because even if it did, the media format would have become obsolete or storage medium would have evaporated in thin air if decades later someone bothered looking ... Cash was and is king! And thanks to new government now there is no dearth of  bigger denomination notes. They even bettered it with size reduction. The Demonetization was the best thing ever happened for cash transactions. Gaya Ram understood that initially some cash was gaya (Gone) for retaining the previous one, after all everyone has to make some sacrifices at some point of time but looking at the brighter side, the future is amazingly pink ! These new notes perhaps were the only solution government had offered for real state. Everyone knew that it was not possible to buy as prices are sky rocketing like social media bought out followers overnight. Stacking fewer notes and yet holding onto same amount was now kids stuff just like the color and design of these notes!

Lost in thoughts again, Gaya Ram realized that traffic had moved a bit and was not that Ruka. Everyone began jostling for the inches worth of real state created with forward movement. This again was the confirmation that how expensive even public real state was. Everyone wanted a pie of it and yet it belong to no one .... No one, because to utilize the space someone had to give in to open the deadlock created by claiming the space no one had. This is the country where people are reluctant to give anything for free ... not even votes ! .....  Only a messiah could save the Ruki (Stopped) souls now but he/she was no where to be seen. Ruka Ram starting a conversation with guy who appeared like lifelong neighbor by now came to know that almost everyone were calling the helpline numbers to look into the problem but lines were not available. The only help was the numbers mentioned on few government sites but as lines were withdrawn, they're not reachable.  Only if by some means someone could make it to those numbers the problem would have been solved.

Gaya Ram understood this quite well now as he never really understood earlier that why phone at his desk never rung! ... only when his superior officer came running to him which in turn came because his superior one came   and government knows how many more superior in between ... He had found out that fat ones could run when required and phone lines didn't work now ... Yet, he wasn't sure that if they ever worked !

By now, having spent a considerable amount of time and fuel, some decided to take the matter in their own hands and began an attempt to manage the traffic.






















  

How to win election !

Just two days before election a ruling party for winning votes from certain section of society published a paid news that "Government mulling banning pork". It got instant unprecedented support.

Opposition think tank decided to fight back and too printed a paid news on the day of election that "Government mulling banning Porn".

And they managed to defeat the ruling party without actually doing anything !

Play --- A group of politicians have reflection on past years

Two guys waiting in a room -- With Banner/Slide ... "Party thinktank reflection"

Ch1 :  What the hack is the issue with these guys! Why can't they come ?
Ch2:  .That's because when occasion arises, these guys can't even rise ?

Ch1   : ha ha ha ....  All because of you ... अरे किसने बोला था की raid the blue pill sale on Snapdeal ?
Ch2:   Arey .. then it was an issue of doosra wala payement ka ! ... Is barre main to sochcha hi nahi tha!

Ch1 : .... Ha ha ha ... what's new in that .... arey there we're expert !  ना सोचने मैं !
ch2: Ha ha ha .... BTW, where are the rest of thinkers ?

Door Opens and some people enter :

ch1: Why're you guys late ?

Ch3: We got stuck on the way ... actually Yuvraj ji की बत्ती बंद हो गयी थी ।
ch2:  उनकी  तो बत्ती हमेशा ही बंद रहती है इसमें नया क्या है ? How can you get late because of that ?

Ch3: No no ... he was talking about the LAL bati ! ... Actually Yuvraj ji was going to other side and as Bati was off he got stuck in JAM.
Ch4: And crowd gethered to take a look at Yuvraj and traffic got jammed on other side ... बहुत बुरा हाल था साब । लाल बाटी पे काम नहीं आये ।  Not sure how these Junta is even travelling everyday !

Ch1: But why was Yuvraj on other side  of road ? ..Isn't he supposed to be here ?

ch5:  Sir, बत्ती बंद है न युवराज की ! … अब इधर जरूरत नहीं है। यही सोचा होगा !

ch2:  If he thought so much to  .. some batti is there ! ...

Ch* ... haan veh to hai !

ch1: Idiots ... he is required here or presstitute watching outside will make a comment on his diaper! ... Someone please make a call and request him to bring his ass ?

Ch4 : Ass ?

Ch1: Auspicious presence ... सुनने मैं नहीं आता तुझे ? मरवाएगा क्या ?

Ch6 ... Calls Yuvraj ... "Sir meeting can not start aapke bina ... jaldi aayiye !"

Ch2 : Lets start the meeting ....  Yuvraj ji will join before meeting ends.

ch1: Let us start with the challenges first ! ...

ch* ... Yes, yes ! ...

Ch2: So who wants to start ?

Ch7 :  मैं बोलता हूँ । यह बहुत मुस्किल वाला मामला है । परेशान करके रखा है

Ch* .. Looking at each other with a quirky smile ..
Ch7:  यह घोड़ी ने हद कर रखी है । There is a limit to everything.

Ch1: Kyon kya hua ? घोड़ी   --- घोड़े पे चढ़ गयी क्या ?
ch* ... ha ... ha ....
Ch7 : ... No .. no nothing like that ... at least  there is no CD for this one !

Ch2 : Not for this one ? .... Whose CD has come then ?

Ch5 : Sheepishly smiling ! ...

Ch3: ... Pointing at Ch5 ... Sir, Abhishek जी की आई है !
ch1 : अच्छा कब आई। …  पता ही नहीं चला !
ch5 : Last month that happened ... thankfully all news channels and news papers are controlled by Bambari bhai ... एक फ़ोन से ही इज़्ज़त बच गयी थी | but someone still managed to leak a copy of it. Thankfully web की मारने के लिए भी 66 A  था, बस बचा ली किसी तरीके से

Ch4 : Anyway how was the CD ?
Ch5: .. Top class ... साले जिसने भी बनायीं थी पूरी 4K बनायीं !
ch* All laughing ... and acknowledge ... Yes, Quality was good !
Ch1: .... Looking at everyone ... अरे ! तुमने किधर देखी ? Parliament मैं तो 4K टीवी है ही नहीं ?
ch* ... No no ... watched it at home !
Ch6 : I have a 110'' Samsung TV. बहुत बढ़िया क्वालिटी थी ! … CD भी blue ray format मैं थी । सब कुच्छ blue ही  blue ! मजा आ गया !
ch5: Smile sheepishly .... then .... Point ay ch6 and ...says .. Cut it ... Or risk release of group CD.
Ch* ... Pin drop silence and pause for few seconds ...

Silence broken by loud thud of door opening and music playing ... "Because I'm happy and .."

Few folks bed down and touch Yuvraj's feet and take his blessings. Other talking and looking in awe of Yuvraj ...

Settle down after a while !.... and things resume !

ch1:  Yes, so we're talking about  Ghodi ! ...
ch3 : Ghodi is becoming very popular ... All organisations for Hindu community are supporting him !
Ch2:  Hmm ...फिर कुच्छ ... secular  card नहीं निकला क्या ?
ch3: Try किया था ! आजकल नहीं चल रहा है । Folks are becoming smarter and not participating anymore!

ch1 : Common Junta ? What about party workers ?

ch4:  Not corporation ... everyone is cribing that we made good collections last  term ! All scams were in lakhs of crores ! और उनको लाखों मैं काम करने के लिए expect कर रहे है । This wont work!

Yuraj : So many problems ! Why they all work good with me ?

Ch2: Yuvraj ji .. .that's the magic of a दारू bottle  from DRY Gujrat and Mahatama Gandhi ji picture with 1000 written on it.

Yvraj : For all of them ?

Ch2: For each of them sir !

Yuvraj : She knows it ?
Ch2:  Knows ? ... She approves the budget !

Silence for few seconds !

ch1:  Hmm ... so how is party funds collection this time  ?

Ch* : Tough! ... Opposition guys are pulling everyone in. Getting in tough now a days!
Ch2: Any way to improve collections ?

Ch6: Can we expect good collection if we continue to block the bills ?

Ch2 : Yes, hit and negotiate under the table can work.  But we need some impact full speech for movement !

Ch * : All look at Yuvraj and comment .. last movement speech was very good ...

In flash back :

भाइयों और भेहनो आज मैं आया हूँ आप लोगों के पास हमारी माँ की खातिर । येह धरती जो हमारी माँ है वह माँ जिसमे आप सब लोग अनाज उगा रहे हैं आज मोदी सरकार की भद्दी नज़रों मैं है, हमारी सरकार ने कानून पास किया था की जब तक सबी लोग अपनी आज्ञा नहीं देंगे कोई कॉर्पोरेट आपकी माँ को हाथ नहीं लगाएगा लेकिन घोडी  सरकार चाहती है की कॉर्पोरट की भद्दी नजर रहते वह आप लोगों पे पैसा फेंक कर माँ को हथिया लें । आपकी माँ को कौन ले और क्या करे इसमें आपकी कोई भी भागधारी नहीं है ! ये सब अन्याय है और हम नहीं होने देंगे और हम लड़ेंगे । हम इसे नहीं होने देंगे जब तक यह आपकी चॉइस(Choice) न हो ।

जय माँ धरती की

 Yuvraj : Smiles .... Everyone reciprocates ...

Yuvraj : I already have thought about this . ( Ch * .. All puzzled ... ask simultaneously .. thought ?)
Yuvraj : Shuffles around and searches all pockets and takes out a piece of paper, gets up and start reading  ...

This is with NET neutrality ... आजकल नया टॉपिक चल रहा है बहार

When a fisherman throws his NET in sea, lake or river he is not partial to any fish, crab or tadpoles. He would take his prized catch and not think about that what he should catch and what he MUST not. He can't give a preferential treatment to expensive fishes alone and not catch the cheaper ones. If this is allowed to happen then market will not have Rohu, Katla and Saradine etc. It will only have Sears, Hilsa, pomfret and other expensive fishes, shrimps and crabs!

What will happen to the poor people ... poor people whose kids need OMEGA-3 fatty acids for consumption to gain the good fat and aid in brain development ?

We strongly advocate for NET neutrality in India for nutrition of all levels of social sectors. I close my speech with personal confession that because of NET neutrality and fish's consumption I myself have benefited in brain development. We MUST maintain NET neutrality in India to make sure that generations are healthier and smarter !

Ch * :: standing ovation and claps.

Ch1 ... looks at ch2 and whispers .... Looks like a bit of mercury overdose !

Ch1 : Okay, so to touch base for so far meeting  discussion ... collection for party is down, More blocking of bills and opposition for everything is required.

Ch3: What about the presstitutes cry that work in not moving forward ?

Ch2: People have GAJINI memory.... will forget. Don't bother .. everyone knows that no one gives a damn for this country. हर किसी को पैसा बनाना है ।
Ch* : All agree!

Ch7 : True, ... नहीं तो हिम वापिस कैसे चुने जाते ।  सभी गधे हैं तभी हम नेता बने हैं ।
Ch * .. Everyone laughs ... Yuvraj is puzzled ...
Ch 6 : Whispers to ch7 ... देख बत्ती बंद है !

Abhisek : And please keep looking for the Ghodi's CD. I want my revenge !

Ch1 : Anything else ?

Ch2 : Party workers not co-operating. Collections report must not come out.

Ch1 : .. Okay, lets set up a SIT to invent new ways to keep things under carpet. And Abhishek ji . will  take lead in planting paid journalist.  Lets create a Chaos ...
Ch2: That's where lies the opportunity ... 

Meeting concludes ...

Outside ... Media waiting ...

Ch1: We'd a good debate on current issues and future course of actions for party.


Media 2: Sir, what is your stand on current government banning porn  websites ?

Abhishek : We're not inclined with a philosophy that parliament could eventually obtain PG-13 by the virtue of  banning porn.  However, that's not something we must take pride in.
Already bollywood is endeavoring to epitomize a porn queen as fine Indian lady. Bringing utter shame and disrepute to advanced Indian culture.

Media 4 : Sir, what if she finds this defaming and goes to court ?

Abhishek : ... If its not for lawsuit on court premises and she takes me in right perspective then I must strive hard  to push in further to lock and strengthen the slippery bond.

Yuvraj comes out ....

All rush to him ...

Media ... : Sir, how was the meeting ? ... What did you miss ?

Yuvraj :  Pamper! .. Huggies is not so soft!

Media : How is madam ? Why did she not attend the meeting ?

Yuvraj :  She didn't have to. Today, I came with double layer protection of huggies.

Ch1 : Okay last question

Media : Sir main takeaway from meeting ?

Ch2: We'll show the real ugly and black face of this government.  Which is so dark and black that even Plasma TV can't show.
Its the technology's cost hindering our efforts.  Once Samsung announces a price cut on 4K TVs .. you'd see the results.

Media ... Sir, one more questions .....

Everyone walks away ....

World of APPs

A tech teacher in an institution was enraged with the quality of student's commitment. He planned to allow his students to bring smart phones to exam center and use them as they wished.

CONDITIONS : 

• Sharing of any scanned data with others restricted to one A4 size sheets per student. (Not much copy!)  
• Exams continue unless all pass! 
• Time restriction apply

First Test :

Preparation (1):  Happily scan everything in a smart phone and bring (Open book exam).

Result : All failed !

Second test :

Preparation (2) : Students figured out that formulas were too tough and their calculations failed for attempted problems. They decided to create APPs for all formulas and divided the work among themselves.

Result : All failed albeit with better results than last time.

Third Test :

Preparation (3) 

Students figured out that gaps in information in spite of available formulas as work was divided and not shared all of them couldn't figure out that which one to use and how. Groups which worked on the formula could crack the problem and rest failed badly. Overall result was a failure. So they MUST share that who was doing what!

Result :  All failed.

Fourth Test

Preparation (4) 

Students figured out that problems were tricky and needed "applying thoughts" and couldn't be solved with formulas alone ! ... they decided to understand 

Result : All passed and they didn't even need the smart phone this time !

Moral of the story : 

Don't download any tom, dick and harry APP to your phone ! It just doesn't work !