ALM

Bunny is finding certain Asanas bit too easy in Yoga classes. Tree posture for example is so easy for Bunny that he can stand there for hours. Only problem is dismantling from the posture. Once one leg is stuck to the कुण्डी its difficult to get out! .... BTW, this कुण्डी is a pure Hindi word and has no resemblance with Kannada word.

For that ALM comes into picture next!


ALM is enjoying his Yoga too. The best Asana he likes is the Halasana. He appreciate this Asana so much that in a class of ten odd people he never does it himself. After all opportunity to admire so many fat and skinny आँ doesn't always arrives at footstep! ... Last time when folks assembled for Yoga classes, the AC was not working and Yoga room was very warm! ...ALM complained that it was very HOT !! ....... but he smilingly complained! .... The truth was that everyone was sweating and Halasana, of course by others,  offered good chances for छाप and that of course must have been be hot for ALM !!

Same day just before going for Yoga sessions, ALM had to go for breakfast. The pain factor was forgetting the lunch box at home itself. Poor man now had to buy breakfast for 15 bucks and lunch for 35. That would mean 50 bucks lost for a simple mistake!

On being asked that how about the losses for food left behind ? .. ALM replied, thats not a loss et all. आधा घरवाला  घर पर है | .......... Seems his Brother in Law at home will eat up the left over food.

Interesting point to note here is the "आधा घर वाला ". Clearly ALM is a secular man! ... Secular when it comes to आँ |  Anyone to challenge that ? Anyone ?

And as this man pays so much respect to आँ , we need to honour him well too. Use of ALM would be highly underrated for a man of this caliber and we should now onwards know him as आंजी |

Bunny 2

Bunny is an interesting personality. After exhibiting special skills in balancing anything and everything in Yoga. Bunny has achieved significant milestones. Tiger Balm for example. Last I heard was that Bunny intends to move onto झंडू balm next.

झंडू after all is a very powerful word. ALM is happy as well, he may get a better छाप this time around.

Benefits of Yoga has changed Bunny so much that in an off event bunny was friendly enough to show case a picture with amazing details. Anyone and everyone could identity him quickly, however that understanding was challenged as there was Bunny 2 as well in the snap! .... Seems the first one anyone identified was Bunny's girlfriend. After this disclosure and various and almost all expert opinions, bunny now is left with only two choices.

• Shrink before marriage 
• Overexpand

If Bunny doesn't do either of them then Bunny runs the risk of identity crisis as other better half which in appearance is almost complete is bound to grow to Bunny's stature ! .. Though Bunny still have the savior punch phrase ..... आप तो मार लेते हैं  to make a difference!

Bunny though has the Snap but still misses out on the cell number. But thats probably because of probabilistic nature of the number she has as Bunny once clarified that Her Father's name was same as Bunny's i.e Bunty and Her mother name is Bubbly.  Father is very futuristic and visionary and keeping Bunny's interests into account, he named his Daughter also Bubbly. And now the Bubbly is the name, so number of course becomes hard to get !! 

Interesting part that how Bunny and Bubbly met goes with a simple story that in College when they studied together, Bunny liked her  so much that he didn't take his eyes off ! ... Someone else felt bad and told Bubbly that rather than on me, Bunny is spending cycles on you! ... Though internally boosted with happiness Bubbly fought with Bunny to not stare at her ... Which bunny noted down to return favors.   And then when she needed the calculator which only Bunny had, Bunny was nice enough to lend it and snatch back just before the final number could be noted down! ......... Built a bond ... and here ... was a pair of Bunny & Bubbly ... since then.

On a funnier side just before Bunny mentioned this all. We found ALM buttering गुरु जी so much that it became difficult to judge that if  छाप alone was the motive.

Suddenly at that time there was a loud thud, it was much louder than a probable fart and everyone rushed to the गुरु जी room to find the reason. And then we all simply discovered the property of butter. Its slippry.

Apparently गुरु जी had fallen off from his chair !!

Bunny !!

Bunny is an interesting man. Any time someone borrowed this man's chair,  has failed to figure out the source of its warmth. Just likes the two sides of coin, there are at least two theories.

1. धुआं है 
2.  आज शायद हवा ज्यादा चल रही है |

Nonetheless, there is a club of all confused  mortals and immortals excluding Bunny!  

For a surprise Bunny has begun to learn Yoga taught by गुरु. The आँ loving man (ALM) is also joining the classes. ALM  loves the visual and has great expectations !!

One fine day   गुरु जी asked Bunny if he is happy with the outcome of Yoga  and if he could feel it ? Replied Bunny. Yes, there is a lots of change in me and Yoga has been benefiting the most ! ... ALM replied too, he is too happy with Yoga sessions.

गुरु जी : What benefits you got there ?

Bunny :  I had bought a Tiger balm years ago. With Yoga I could use it and consume all.

ALM :  Once bunny consumed it all and canvas was ready. I had the print, now I no longer need the real Visuals. However, that still remains the preference.

गुरु जी : Oh ! ... And I always thought that Bunny just had reason (2) going, causing sweat !!!   

And then came some आकाशवाणी. Seems God was saying : 

Welcome to the club!! 

Bunny at his best !!

Bunny while at the morning tea busted a cracker of a joke! ... his view point was simple that if he got time which he has in plenty then he would love to waste it away by proving that how idiotic he can sound! .. It makes him feel great and so does the others !!

And then Bunny gave an example that if you're in Dadar and talk against Bal Thakery of Raj Thakrey then you would be drubbed!!

That brings out the simple question to find out that "bunny किसका आदमी है ?"

Bunny says not he is not the MAN! But he has not been drubbed yet as well. Then the obvious question that if "Bunny किसीका आदमी नहीं है तो औरत किसकी हैं ?"  In response to that Bunny bursts into a nervous smile with his popular phrase that आप तो मार लेते हैं |

Well, at the same time आँ loving man asked  .... " अरे सोचो अगर इधर उधर ना होकर बीच मैं हो तो ?"

suddenly Bunny burst out in laughter and asked ... and is that the experience talking ???

Witty Bunny at his best !!

Meet Ash Kar !!

Ash Kar with his all heroics and hiring and mutual firing by now has achieved the pinnacle of something he dreamed years ago! Ash Kar now is a real big man... Big ... bigger than his XXXL size !!


DS years ago had borrowed a few books from Ash Kar when everything was in good health and things looked great! ... With big bickering around almost all of them were returned and somehow one remained to be returned  which DS found almost 500 days later!  A magnificent piece of work compiled by a great man who would be admired by anyone! ... Anyone except himself to be humble.

Anyway, DS asked if Ash kar remembered that it was his book and if DS could return that. After a confirmation  DS decided to return it personally and went to Meet Ash Kar. DS found that Ash kar has a big posh office and its named after a very famous and great scientist.

Ash Kar : ... So how are things around ... ?  .. DS : .. Great ...
Ash Kar : ... How is the work ... ?        DS : Not so great .. but its okay. One gotta pay for wrong decisions!!
DS : ... So I see that you have encroached on something and it doesn't look like an office space ?
Ash Kar : Ya, there is none available so thats what was done!
DS : ... Hmm ... then perhaps you gotta free up some ?
Ash Kar  : Yes, in fact I even have spotted one! ..then he looked in one direction and said ... but I don't like that space!
DS : ... Smiles  .... you anyway specialize in that ... and then Okay .. bye for now .... Ash Kar : Bye ...

DS : ... Before leaving , ... Hey you know ... ? This office space has interesting name and the one with that once threw away something at something and discovered the great phenomenon. I hope, you don't throw away something unexpected and screw up an another phenomenon ....  . ;) ...


Ash Kar : Smiled .. but was obvious that didn't understand that !!

On the way back DS looked at the office space in the direction of Ash Kar's head and spotted a particular one man  ...

Way back, just within 10 minutes, DS found the spotted man at his office floor !! ... Probably looking for an interview with his group ?????...

Well, it confirmed the person and the fact that group DS, worked, perhaps is the dumping ground for anyone and everyone !! ... And DS needs to give another thoughts about continuing here ...  !!

What say you ? Tells someone ... you know the place you belong now ? ... The Trash!!!!

Nawab and bunny !!!

There was a Nawab in Lukhanow at some point of time and was very famous. Fame echoed everywhere and each and everyone was aware of qualities and taste Nawab possessed.

One fine day, Nawab caught hold of one Riksha puller and ordered him to go to some particular place, A remote place to be precise. Riksha puller well aware of Nawab's fame was on his toes. After a while when destination which boasted no one in miles distance arrived. Nawab directed ... STOP.

Riksha puller immediately alighted from Riksha and mounted the position and kept waiting  .....

Time passed .. nothing happened ..... some more time passed and nothing happened ...

And then suddenly there was a forceful kick and abusive from Nawab ... Nawab was saying ...

साला चलता है रिक्शा मगर  शौक नवाबों वाले |

Well, story goes fine. One fine day Bunny mentioned something controversial  for which  DS suggested something .... Bunny came back strongly with a questions ...

कोई मार लेगा आके |

Hmm ... thats not possible. Suggested DS. In the land of Nawabs possibilities of such things don't exist! ..
Or does it ? ...........Anyone to dispute ?

TV

Gitu always had opinions about lots of folks in college and DS is sure that even today he must have maintained his opinion orientation intact. Gitu had opinion about DS that he wasn't  good with people. Good compared to people like Gitu!

DS, never denied that fact but never understood that what goodness Gitu meant. Gitu probably was too cozy with people but to what extent ? DS never knew!!

At the end of second year when NIMHANS training was signed up and Gitu wanted to use that slot for doing one particular course which coordinator[professor] of  training vehemently opposed, situation came down to a point when professor asked Gitu to get out of his office. DS sat quietly looking at professor who took his time to cool down! Professor then asked a question to DS, Does he know how to be good with people and behave ? ....Sigh .. how could have DS told him that at least Gitu does think so !!

Anyway, one day DS went to one particular hostel to watch TV and found Gitu and Shaha (Gitu's chaddi's Chit friend) wrestling on the floor in TV room. There were some folks who did notice but never went to separate them. On asking DS, came to know that Gitu and Shaha being practicing wrestling there since they joined that hostel. And of course that didn't demand any attention.

Vow! ... so what was something called being good with people ? ....

To find the root cause, DS once inquired Shaha that what made him so close and personal with Gitu that day ?  ... Replied Shaha, ... He was watching football and Gitu came to TV room. Gitu wanted to change channel which Shaha objected. On further pestering from Gitu, Shaha allowed him to change after the corner. And just when player came to hit the ball to take cornor, Gitu changed the channel.

DS understood now that how Gitu was so good with people. Even after a  decade, it feels good to admire, Gitu's good humour and relationship building activities.

Gitu's interview ...

Gitu worked in a great company for few years and worked on establishing standards. When it became almost impossible to challenge those self standing standards and get something meaningful out of them, The work was called off. Interestingly at same juncture Gitu too decided that it was time for him to call it off!! Pretty intelligent of him.


Gitu sent his resume to anyone and everyone and became a celebrity. Eventually  Gitu contacted DS and inquired if there was anything Gitu could help by letting DS know that he was available for hiring.

DS, forwarded Gitu's resume to one of the guys who came back appreciating that Gitu has been a celebrity and everyone in the interview panel already has a picture with him so it may not be worth wasting celebrities time again. DS requested to consider it once again which that nice guy somehow obliged. DS offered one mock interview to Gitu which great man agreed. DS called one experienced friend of his to help out as DS himself couldn't do that.

Gitu was amazingly good in interview. DS sat in the panel to check the progress. After the interview, DS asked that how Gitu felt about it ? ... Gitu was beaming with energy and was pretty confident. Interviewer also was pretty positive about closing the rounds there itself!! ....

When Gitu was told that he needs to prepare more and work hard ... Gitu smiled.

What? Don't they see that where I come from ? ... अरे कॉलेज का नाम ही काफी है |

DS, tried to explain that, Yes name is enough but unfortunately many people don't know about it!!

Gitu, then said that many people are impressed with him .. and then he quoted an example of previous interview where the algorithm Gitu explained was so complex that person could never understand it!

And then Gitu told, then he asked about SONET and then मैंने तो उसे पका दिया | अरे हम तो किंग हैं उधर |

DS, asked what did he ask ? .... Gitu ... He asked many a things and then he asked about a particular byte and then meanings of bits. Gitu was so comfortable with each bit in any byte that he even claimed that a few of the bytes in the standard were like his खानदानी property. Moreover, development on all of them stopped after his father had the operation !!

Makes sense ... ? .. Of course it does. Thought DS. After all Gitu hails from  constituency where Sanjay Gandhi was a reckoning force in his father's days!!

NIMHANS

Just after second years degree exam, there was a requirement to go for the industrial training. Each student was supposed to go to different companies/industries based on a lottery system.

DS, was bit unlucky! .... There were less number of companies/industries which agreed for allowing interns and couple of students were paired to fit into the requirement. But the part where DS was unlucky was the partner. Yes, DS had Gitu as the partner. But somehow professor rightly chose the industry. DS and Gitu got NIMHAN (National institute for mental health and Neurological Sciences)

DS and Gitu went to hospital to meet the doctor who had a project for them. Doctor called up his software engineer who was developing a software for his ECG display. Issue, here was simple and straightforward. Software engineers (SE) software displayed a screen full of data first and then began over writing  the already written signal. Doctor wanted the signal to continue and give a feel of running endlessly.

Well, as said before. Problem was simple and straightforward but difficult to solve. If SE was to be believed then it was an issue of international concerns and there was a hardware support only for the vertical scroll and not for the horizontal scroll. So unless, hardware folks fixed the issue, there was nothing SE could have done.

DS and Gitu had a problem to fix. There was another problem as well to find some pattern in signal and do some calculations based on that.

Doctor asked SE to spend some time with DS and Gitu and help them out. SE was very friendly. He simply helped DS and Gitu and said. Kids go home and relax. I have seen umpteen number of useless folks coming in and trying to teach me that what to do. I'm an SE of caliber and know that what I'm upto.

Well, DS and Gitu came back to campus.

Gitu, suggested that we divide the task in two parts and let DS take care of international issue. Well, that was okay.

DS, thought for 15 minutes and tried a simple trick. DS took the array with some  75 %  horizontal pixel size and when they input reached the maximum, DS began to rotate the 10 % of them out of the left side and add the 10 % to write and displayed them on screen. Effect was simple. Now signal was moving and never crossed more than 75 % of screen space. But this  resulted in signal blinking as graphics was not fast enough. This could have been improved but then it was SE job ;)

DS, after this sat down for a month and went to the NIMHANS with Gitu. They displayed the program there and it worked like a charm. SE was startled. This batch of kidos was different. He acknowledged that and took the emails address of DS and Gitu to contact them later for his complex problems solutions later.

A complex project was done and for Gitu's part, Gitu decided to give DS an algorithm and asked to code it as it was straightforward. DS looked at and realized that whole coding may be done without looking at the algo than to understand that.

Nonetheless, Doctor happy with cracked international problem never bothered about the other one and happily signed on the completed training.

DS, however for the remaining years had to hear the taunts from Gitu. Of course DS, never understood the complex algorithm Gitu gave and so couldn't code it either. Even today, if Gitu meets. He says ...

अरे अल्गोरिथम तो हमने दे ही दी थी, तुमपे वेह भे कोड नहीं हुई |

Gitu

In college campus, DS having come from a different background was scared by his advisor for lack of skills and depth which this place demanded. DS, took that challenge and began working hard to avoid getting further sermons.

To complicate further, there was an interesting character (Gitu) in batch. Gitu never believed in working hard and always came down to copy all the assignments from DS who never refused or lied that it has not been done yet. It was pretty common for Gitu to taunt DS that he works too hard and still doesn't get anything better than him. In most of the exams with so much hard working, DS managed only 10 % marks more than Gitu. But DS worked 150 % more than Gitu.  What a waste of efforts it was ! ...

Gitu, never missed to remind that !!

There was another person (Amith) in batch as well. He was good and to be honest too good. He never believed in working too hard and if something he didn't like, he just managed it with great skills of mutual collaboration.

Any time DS, asked a question to Gitu, there was hardly any correct answer! ... which always kept DS puzzled that how Gitu managed to get decent marks. Or rather just 10 % less than hard working DS.

For his skills Gitu was so famous that once in probability exam he forgot to write his name on the answer sheet and still professor delivered the sheet back to him after the corrections. Even without asking that whose it was !! ..... Professor was damn good and knew exactly the probability outcome of one for anyone in class who may be able to calculate the probability as 3 for a given problem/question.

Still Gitu managed just 10 % less than DS !!

At some point of time after some other exam, Gitu came out and told DS that he had done a particular problem incorrectly. Hmm ... how did you know ? ...

Gitu : For the same problem, Amith had a different approach and different answer.

Hmm .... DS, knew now that how Gitu managed all his marks which were just 10 % less than his.

Management Crap !!! ....

Everyone has to go through the tough times and when tough gets going .. it juts keeps getting tough. After a few failed attempts when a certain person figured out the technicality of his missing technical ability to influence DS with his dirty gimmicks and  claim success, he refused to be bogged down and wait for the Indian government to come for help and declare that climate is hostile. Rather like a clever chief minster of State, this man chose to inform government and all respective NGO of the dire situation this project faced.

NGO has a reason now to help. After all NGO's survival depends on helping such situations. But sometime NGO makes mistakes. The ground reality of doing a great work lays in fixing problems once mess is done and not fixing problems which mess around. If done, the later way then existence of NGO is challenged. This NGO making this very same mistake attempted to fix mess and presented DS with few idea that how to go about working in day to day corporate. These six points are listed below :

• S -  Situation ( Explain the situation .. )
• C - Complication (What complication this thing has)
• I -  Implication ( List out all the implications .. )
• P - Proposal / Position 
• A - Action (Opening Action)
• B - Benefits (Benefit with proposal)

Well, makes sense! ... Replied DS and noted down these excellent ideas in hope of finding some training some day which teaches amazing theory.

However, toughness of project never mellowed down but situation changed drastically just like the only universal constant .. CHANGE !!

Someone got the booty who probably deserved the kick and hopeful one ? .. The kick.

A quick meeting with NGO was arranged again to fix this mess. This time NGO helped create this one, On top of that,  here it was ... an another mistake .......

NGO  tried his best to mess around the already existing  mess. But this was no ordinary situation! ... Already buried deep in mess, for DS there was nothing more to lose! 

NGO began, ...... There are certain parameters which went in that *someone* favor.  

Like ? Asked DS.  Came answer, after a pause ... like work here and work in the previous group.

Hmm ... Sounds interesting. Let me ask a question, said DS. Tell me what I have done in previous group ?

NGO : ... Complete silence ... (Not expecting question .. was taken aback)

DS : ... Forget about that .. Tell me what I have done here ? 

NGO : .. no response ... 

DS ... And you're the one who took decision ? I hope, you wouldn't even know that what that *someone* has done ?

NGO : ... No response ... 

DS : This has been a complete disaster for me. The choice of choosing this place as the next career move was the utmost stupidest decision of my life. I have no guilt now in acknowledging that I would regret this forever.

NGO : No, its not like that ... its a great place to work and I'm sure that looking forward there are more positives in this group.  You can look at the various teams in this group.

DS:  Hmm .. if you say so .. then would you mind giving me name of any person too other than the *weight* who been here for more than five years ?

NGO ... Taken back again.

DS : I believe, you got nothing more to talk to me. If you don't have anything more to say then we dismiss now ?

NGO : Okay ... 

And thus ended the great meeting. While DS left, NGO certainly had a few questions to keep himself amused.

DS, also had a question in his mind ....

Did, NGO refer to his SIX point ideas before calling DS for a meeting ?

Well, Its easier to FART than control !! .... And DS, knows, he proved it there.

Friendship!!

In college DS was a part of a group of totally different minded people. There were three in the group and of course DS was one. Group decided to hunt for a house when graduation was about to be completed and workmanship of a man was to begin. However, Authorities asked batch to vacate much before and having no other option than relying on old friends, DS and group stayed in college for few days even after finishing college which was totally illegal as host decided to pocket the meager money supposed to be deposited as the guest money to hostel.

One fine day. The only drinker (SK) in group decided to go to a bar and of course the useless members had to assist him. It was around  0000 Hrs. On the way back, another group of three folks, one of which was drunk,  happened to pass nearby and drunk man asked for the time. In the process, he happened to hit the 3rd person in group who immediately began cribbing. Somehow other members of other group controlled the drunk guy and then both groups entered campus entrance which was guarded by security. The other group had appearance of outsiders.

Drunk man in the DS's group (SK) suddenly attacked the drunk man in other group and within seconds there was a fight. Within another second DS realized the Smart drunk man (SK) was being drubbed and was crying and begging for the mercy. DS had to intervene and save him and in the process get hit as well. There was something missing!

And then suddently all three members of other group ran away. DS and Smart Drunk man (SK)came out and saw the  scared security guard inside the campus who chose to let the warring parties decide when to wind up. Third member was missing. Worried, DS went a bit further and was worried again when a pair of slippers was noticed. Third man had graced them on many occasion.

A few steps further, and DS saw a boy in shocked state !!

DS, asked what happened ? ...



Boy replied .. someone ran very fast in that direction --->

Seems, third man had run so fast that slippers couldn't hold on to flying feet.. And boy had reasons to be shocked. 

Way back, third man told that  he came running from there to take his friends to the scene.  Unfortunately, friends had gone to finish some official work and so couldn't be approached. Hmm .... official work at 0000 Hrs ? Sounds interesting. May be, friend had gone to deposit guest money!!

Well, DS never had any answers to honest attempt of third person. But yes, DS may know after years that where Usain Bolt got his inspiration from ;) 

Driving Tests in India ...

At some point of time DS decided to get a driving licence. Process is simple and straightforward as per the Indian government, with a little exception that no one knows what it is! So, DS decided to follow more learned person who simply favored to talk to a Tout.

Tout was nice and honest man and believed in socializing. He requested DS and more learned person to make more visits and bring booty each time, which more learned person dutifully  obliged! Inspector was never available for Tests as that would mean end of running economy. More learned person was  really a leanred person and continued this process, however DS not understanding the complexity  decided to part with nice and honest tout. Exactly almost a decade now DS understands that who triggered recession in 2001!

Well, After a certain hurdles here and there, DS managed to file an application which was fairly simple process. DS just had to randomly stand in each queue for few hours and in the end find a new queue to join. On one lucky hour, one person finally reluctantly had to acknowledge the initial Jackpot was hit.


Next step was to get the driving test done. Curiously looking at the concerned inspector who surprisingly and of course reluctantly took the forms. DS stood in the queue with clear understanding that it was a priority [$$] based queue and DS always stood a chance. Albeit  the last one!!

Anyway, in the end after the test, Inspector asked one simple question :

If a car is being driven in front of you and you're on a bike then how do you drive ?

Hmm .... Curious DS thought for a minute that shitty country and city boasts only of king size pot holes and speed breakers. The best chance with little visibility when following a car lays with driving just on one of its sides and not exactly the middle which exposed bike to otherwise sometimes well engineered reckless and  dangerous citizen assisting traps.

Failed was something marked on the application for this answer.

Exactly after a decade, DS knows that correct theortical answer was to follow the car in the middle and assumption inspector made was that car would follow lane discipline. However, each time a dangerous trap is negotiated everyday for at least 20 times. DS knows that practical and life saving answer would still be to stand by the same thinking. You may not get a licence this way but would hold onto precious life to apply many more times for the same !!

Total Screw up !!

Nature is an intriguing element. Anything human can't understand is of course doing of nature. Mankind though has understood that greater catastrophes strike only after an extended period of lull. One exactly for that reason remains puzzled for long till butterfly flaps its wings. This flap clearly states the outcome of effect, yet exhibits ignorance that it may not exactly be the trigger !!

Saddened and dusted under the harming flaps of unexpected wings, One  has a reason to know that what makes a healthy well fed butterfly wake up to explore ?

A poor flower who totally relies on butterfly to spread its seeds and save its own kind has probably no reason to resist or coerce butterfly to not flap its wings! Its own well being is dictated by Butter actions and fly always hovered around in attempt to help, however only  pretext remained true and the real reason ? sucking the juice out ? of course hidden.

Perspective that seeds will be spread and flower would get to see the growth remains controlled to butter fly which  may chose to not mix/drop seeds.  One can be  even more disheartened by fact that Flower promises to drop down to gloom if One doesn't  grow! ...

Once butterfly is content and done with flower. where does this Flower stand a chance to even survive ? Leave alone the position and value add this proposition actually add ?

One if wishes to see growth in same land mass then has to find another flower plant. Worst part, though would be the harvesting time till flower blooms!

The only choice probably left is to not rely on flapping pretty looking flies and probably finding a place where breeze naturally honouring the randomness of system. One certainly stands a chance to find the right match and grow! ... But poor problem  ........ how to reach there ??